This is an older post, but relevant to my current situation, so I'm bumping.
It sounds as though you've been talking to big banks (US Bank, Wells Fargo) instead of local banks. The experience I've had is that local banks tend to have better terms when building in the community, although their requirements vary quite a bit.
I recently got approval for a construction loan for a rehab property. The terms were:
20% of total loan down
6 months int only payments during construction period
After 6 months, loan rolls over into a conventional.
This was to be an income property, so the ARV and potential rents were factored in. I'm not an expert in this area, so maybe someone else can chime in, but if its designated as a rental, I'm not sure why they wouldn't allow that to factor into your ability to make payments.
As for the Wells Fargo option, what I've been told by them is you can't use their rehab loan for a property without an existing structure. In other words, building on raw land is a straight construction loan, not a rehab loan.
I would set a meeting with at least two local banks to get a clear idea of what they'd look for in this type of loan. I think you'll be surprised.
Curious where you are with this deal.