@Joe S. simple side of this is do you want the person in control of deciding your funding $'s to be allied or an advisory? The appraiser gave you a golden opportunity and they spit in there face. That's what happened, weather you understand that or not.
The appraiser asked you for intent so they can find HIGHEST and best use, in YOUR favor. Otherwise, with 0 info, guess what, they are simply going to pick what that highest and best use is and it might not be to what you were thinking. Also, if it is for say rental use vs market sale, those are different means of appraisal, different slants to it all.
On the purchase side, your paranoid. Guess what happens if you buy it for way less then fair market pricing, they adjust it's purchase price up. Now, what motive does the appraiser have to give a squat for the guy who was a dink?
And on the reno side of things, that's just solid gold opportunity, that's an appraiser saying "help me to find every way possible to justify a highest appraisal".
I have a funny feeling your next post is going to be "Appraisal came in way low! How do I get them to change it????" and the answers will be "good luck buddy".
Real Estate is all about relations, 100%, I suggest contacting the appraiser back and apologizing saying that were driving at the time etc etc, and don't really know the process, how can you help. And the sale price, your nuts if you think you can hide that, the appraiser can simply call recorders office and get all that info direct.