Originally posted by @Nathan Crumback:
Originally posted by @Michael Lowe:
I’m just starting out.
I’ve been reading like crazy, analyzing deals CONSTANTLY, driving neighborhoods, talking with my real estate agent, meeting with investors currently in my market (and other markets).
But when I talk to my friends and family about investing in Real Estate, it’s always negative and “you can’t” or “you shouldn’t”.
What gives? Why are my friends and family members so against me investing in real estate?!
Any ideas?
And, how do I win them over?
Sorry to hear that your family/friends are unsupportive, it definitely makes it harder. Thanfully, you have a large community of people here in the forums that want to see you succeed and are supportive. Maybe this is an opportunity to build on some skills that will help them see your vision and the benefits of investing in real estate? You won't win everyone over but it's worth trying.
It's not a real estate book but I've been reading "Made to Stick" (Chip and Dan Heath) and it discusses how some ideas survive while others die-off. There are some great nuggets in there that might help you develop and communicate your idea of investing in real estate more effectively.
"Sticky" ideas consist of the following (not all of them have to be present to have a "sticky" idea).
- 1. Simple
- 2. Unexpected
- 3. Concrete
- 4. Credible
- 5. Emotional
- 6. Stories
Here is one idea they share about trying to convey an idea:
"The main problem is the "Curse of Knowledge": The person sharing the idea has all sorts of insider information that others don't, so they have already framed the problem and understand its relevance. A single example illustrates the essence of the problem: One study tested a "tapper and listeners" game: They asked a person to tap out the rhythm of a song and have another recognize it - the listener nearly always failed to identify the song. What happened, of course, is that the tapper sings the song in their head and thus thinks he has the right rhythm, but the person hearing the taps cannot hear the song inside the others head and therefore has no idea of what the taps mean."
I feel the information happens to be relevant in how we, as real estate investors, can help design our ideas around these principles and possible turn unsupportive family/friends into supporter or even help us create "sticky" ideas in everything real estate (finding a partner, closing a deal, building our portfolios, creative investing, etc.)
Either way, I'm cheering for you!
That's great insight, Nathan.
1. If you can't explain it simply, maybe you don't quite understand it yourself?
2. If they only hear the things that they "expect" me to say about REI that's not enough to be very convincing.
3. & 4. can probably be summed up in a concrete and credible fact/benefit/check question sort of way.
5. there's something to be said about the mechanical numbers of something, but something all the more convincing when someone you know and love and trust is emotional about something.
6. They're using their own (horror) stories to try to convince me that I shouldn't, like-wise, success-stories should be a convincing tool.
You never know what is in someone's head, by the things they say. I'm reading (or, in this case, listening) to "Never Split The Difference" by Chris Voss, one of the things he says is that in any negotiation is the "Black Swan" the uncovered reason for the action. Described in your example of the tapper/listeners game. If you can uncover the "Black Swan" or in this case expose your "Black Swan" you may be on the right track to a convincing argument and hopefully win over some people to the REI world.
Thanks for this reply, very interesting.
