Talk to some local credit unions about a possible residential construction loan for a 4-unit and tell them you'll live in one of the units. You'll probably need to hire a contractor. Just stay involved, take notes about the permit process and order of operations and when inspections are done. You'll be paying the subs so keep a contact list. If you want experience, put your time and money on the line, only way to do it.
I would get a bid from contractor(s) based on your sqft, that it's two story, the number of beds/baths, roof type and exterior material, before purchasing and solidifying a plan. I would preferably go with a contractor that provides a cost-plus bid approach. I would then talk to some appraisers and ask what new construction residential is appraising for. If the appraisals are covering the loan amount, cool, but does it CF at that price? If it doesn't appraise, you'll have to decide if it will cashflow, is it enough and is it worth your liquidity? The market can change a lot (especially now) over a year+ of the building process (material costs, interest rates and etc).
You'll need to talk to some local building material companies as well, see what lead times are on windows and other materials.
Get bids from a few contractors, if one stands out as being a deal too good to be true, steer clear. You'll just get notified every line item that you went over budget and be out of pocket and pissed off the whole time.
Honestly, I would only do this if I had a majority of the cash required. That way you could avoid carrying a large interest bill during construction to boot. The #1 indicator for development success is the cost/prep of the land acquisition. This is were cold calling and tax sales come into play.