How about option 3 - investing in real estate through passively investing as a Limited Partner in syndications?
Do you have any experience as an active real estate investor? Do you want to spend the time and resources it takes to be an active real estate investor?
Option 1 will be a very active position - especially if you are living there. How will the time required effect your jobs and the family you want to start? Even if you hire a property manager, owning a multifamily is an active job.
Option 2 - buying an out of state property will also be active and you will need to learn how to effectively invest outside your state.
There are plenty of people who do both option 1 and 2 on this platform and they do very well at it. I would guess that all of the successful people who do either of those have some kind of competitive advantage - either they are good at swinging a hammer, have market knowledge or something else that sets them apart. As an active investor, you will be competing against these people. You might be successful, you might not - but you will be required to spend a lot of time, effort and money to make this work.
Investing passively in real estate syndications is different - you get the benefits of real estate, but you do not manage or control the asset yourself. You invest with a professional asset manager who selects that asset, negotiates and completes the purchase, manages the asset and makes the sell decision down the road. You will need to do significant due diligence on the operator, market and the deal. These are long term, illiquid assets that are completely out of your control.
There are benefits and drawbacks to both active and passive investing. I have done both. As an active investor, I was not a good asset manager and none of my properties cash flowed like I projected. I was fortunate that the market was only go up in those days - even for people like me who didn't know what they were doing - so I made a lot of money on the appreciation. When I found syndications, I realized that I was much better suited to this type of investing. The returns met or beat my active returns - I was effectively hiring a professional asset manager to manage the asset for me. It also allowed me to diversify - I didn't have to just be a single or multifamily investor in one or two markets. Instead, I invested in self storage, multifamily, mobile home parks, debt funds, triple net leases, industrial and more - all of these were in different markets with different operators. You can't diversify like this as an active investor.
Real estate is the best investment I have found - I think the key decision that needs to be made prior to deciding Option 1 v Option 2 is are you, your family and your lifestyle more suited to active investing or passive investing? Once you have that figured out, you can take the next step!
Good luck!