@Quinton Slay you are not alone. I apologize ahead of time for not reading most people's response since this thread had pages and pages of responses. But based on my experience with my wife that was in a similar situation and some what still is, I can only provide my personal advice.
First off, I would definitely have her read Set for Life by @Scott Trench. Even if you are not a believe or real estate investing, everyone would love to retire young and I strongly believe if you have the will, you will find the way to do so.
I have always been financial minded and tried to convinced my wife that working good jobs to buy a large house in the suburbs through financial and being forced to retire at 65 with savings that will last only 15-20 years, the American dream, is absurd. This is not my goal nor dream. She bought into this quick and was all for investing into long term buy and holds.
Convincing her instead of buying a 1.5m dollar house in Pasadena, we should house hack a duplex and up, was the challenge. The same challenge you are facing. My situation is furthered weighed down by the fact that she is going on 8 months pregnant and does not want to live in a property that is shared with strangers, which I completely understand. My biggest priority is my wife, my future daughter, and their safety, so I could not argue with her on that.
So how did I convince her? I told her that our passive income from our rentals is enough for her to retire now as it replaces her income. By end of next year, I will be quitting my full-time job to focus investing. My situation is a bit different since I have a lot of free capital that I am able to buy properties for cash out-of-state. But if she wants to go ahead and buy a million+ dollar house, all our capital will be drained and she would have to go back to work and same with me and we would have to hire a nanny to raise our children. Sounds like a terrible scenario to throw at her but this was the consequences that we would endure. I have always been very upfront with her and tried to always find a medium to our goals/dreams. To hit her with a reality check that to buy a large house when you are gone half the day because you’ll be stuck at work, is absurd. Also, to tack onto that, we were planning to retire next year and travel often once our daughter turns one. Making it even more absurd to throw money away on a house, instead of using it to make money. I gave her an alternative that we can AirBnB it when we are traveling to balance it out and still pay for our travels, but I was even not convinced by this since I will never ever rent out my primary residence (a secondary unit separate from the house, maybe). After days of pondering and shedding some tears, she said I was right. I promised her that we would only house hack for a few years until our daughter is ready for school or more children pending in the future, which will allow me to build up enough equity and income to offset paying for a huge mortgage.
Long story short, we are not moving to Pasadena anytime soon, as we currently own our home, almost free and clear (not nearly the price of Pasadena homes). We plan to find a multifamily in Long Beach next year that will pan out to us living there for free and allow us to be closer to her family. In a few years, we will make take the plunge and hopefully by then, we can buy a property in Pasadena with cash.