Taj, there are so many housing options in the Triangle and while Raleigh is the biggest town, you should also explore other towns and communities too. A choice should depend too on where you and/or spouse end up working. The Triangle is a spread out area and who wants a long commute time. Warning: I-40 which is sort of the Triangle's main street is super congested during rush hour, in all directions. Avoid if you can. Not knowing exactly what sort of amenities and vibe you want, here are a few family friendly options that come to mind:
There are many new planned communities that have popped up in places near Raleigh like Apex, Fuquay-Varina and Holly Springs which offer good value but lots can be quite small, you may have to endure construction noise, trucks, etc. and residents are from all over so that community feel may not have yet materialized. Raleigh's outer beltway has reached those towns so they are booming. Briar Creek is a master planned community that is technically in Raleigh but very close to RTP and RDU so it's convenient if spouses work in different parts of the Triangle.
Public schools in Wake County in general are good but I believe Wake County schools operate on a year round schedule and kids can be put in schools far away from home, meaning long bus rides - but you'll want to confirm that.
There are many things to love about Durham - its downtown renaissance is remarkable, the restaurant scene is great, and if your kids get into NC Science & Math later they'll be at the best public high school in the state. Southpoint Mall in south Durham is a very good mall surrounded by fairly new rental communities. But Durham public schools are generally not so good and you may want to reference Trulia crime maps since this varies block by block. Some folks leave when their kids reach school age. And rents have gone up a lot over the past three years so Durham isn't such a relative bargain any more.
Chapel Hill is the smallest of the three towns that form the Triangle. It has good school systems and as a college town it has a intellectual vibe, except on football and basketball home game dates! Family friendly places to rent and live include Meadowmont and Southern Village. Chapel Hill has high property taxes but that's less an issue if you are renting.
These are just some random and subjective thoughts but I hope they may be of use. Check out sites like Zillow and city-data and come down and tour to make your own determinations.
Best, Greg