Brian, I went through the same struggles. "Private Money" is harder to come by than people make it sound like. Not to say it is not out there, but it takes the right combination of person and circumstances to actually get that money from their bank account and into the deal. Despite significant efforts, I never found a true private money partner. I partnered on a deal with a family member, where we both put up about 30K and used that 60K to get a hard money loan to do a flip. I guess you can call that private money, maybe...lol.
I found a lot of people with money, that were not comfortable putting it in a real estate deal, or they wanted interest and a part of the deal, or they were private money lenders until the point that they realized they could draw up a contract and basically turn themselves in to a hard money lender at 3 points and 12%...
So we resorted to just using Hard Money on our flips, maximizing our income outside of real estate, reducing our expenses and spending, etc. Doing all those things we were able to accumulate some cash, which we are using now to do flips that we can pay cash for. We also got really serious about our credit, not just the score, but the amount of available credit on any card or line we had. We request increases every 4-6 months on every card or line, it made our scores go up, but it also got us to about 150K available credit, which we can't use to buy a house, but it does help with financing credibility and some piece of mind that I can finish some repairs with that if I do get in a tight spot. Some people will criticize this approach, but thus far I have never had it hurt us, about half of our credit cards allow zero interest for 12 or 18 months, so its better than sitting around wishing you were flipping houses.
If you are finding deals and coming up a few thousand short to get them done, maybe you should consider partnering with someone that can match what you bring to the table. For instance, if you brought me a deal that made sense financially, it requires 50K cash to secure hard money and finish the deal, but you only have 25K cash, I would easily agree to put up the additional 25K cash and split all costs, expenses, profits 50/50. 50% of a good deal is better than 0% of any deal.
Hope that helps, send me a private message if you have questions or want to discuss working together on a deal.