Hey @Kyle Bigger. You're a big man for struggling with this topic and for putting it out to the BP community. Kudos for that.
I think @Brian Burke and others made some good points.
I have been in the business 13 years and have struggled with the same issue at times.
You mentioned that this is a recent phenomenon, but I think it's always true that a seller who cashes out at a discount could do a lot better. No matter the market.
I think short of not doing it anymore (always your prerogative), a practical solution I have come up with is moving towards more full disclosure.
Why not clearly say to sellers, "you can make a lot more money taking your chances with a realtor or the open market." Why not talk them out of selling to you?
I've tried this. It's very interesting.
When you try to talk someone out of it, they start to tell you whether they really need you or not. It also makes it clearer to you the value you're adding to their life when they tell you why they do need you.
I have a hunch that if what you're saying is true - that other investors will easily pay $10-50,000 more than you, just as fast, for cash, with little or no contingencies, you won't have to worry about this dilemma. The market will take care of it for you as competition reduces the numbers of deals you can buy anyway.
But if you ARE still getting deals, maybe you are offering something of real value. Maybe those other people can't do what you can do. Maybe the certainty you bring to the table really is better than the others.
If all else fails, before ditching the business, take a break from the super distressed owner occupant type sellers. Work retiring landlord lists, estates, short sales, bank owned properties, etc. I don't see anyone feeling sorry for banks:)
Thanks for bringing up the issue Kyle. It's a good one for the BP community to tackle.