I'm very sorry you're going through this. The first problem tenant/eviction will help you avoid most situations before it gets to this point. I hope this info helps you. I had great mentors on BP when I first started. Evictions will happen, it's part of the business. It's not personal. Follow the law and your lease. The tenant's problems cannot become your problems. You're not their friend. Be understanding but professional.
After 13 years as a landlord in 2 states, I can say that vigilant screening is the key to mitigating most tenant issues. 99% of inquiries for our rental properties aren't even qualified to see them. That saves a huge amount of time. I list all the requirements in the posting, which no one ever reads, and then I pre-screen on the phone when they say they meet them all. Most calls end in less than one minute :)
I don't charge for my application, just a $28 background check once I approve it, because if they're gotten far enough to get my application in the first place, they are likely to be approved by me and the condo association (if there is one). I don't want to take any money from a tenant that will likely not get approved. Always pay for a background check and look at the local court web site.
Verify *everything*. Check the property tax records to make sure their previous landlord isn't a friend or family member. Be sure to speak to that person. When verifying employment, don't just call the number they give you, it could be a friend pretending to be their manager. Call the main company number and ask for their manager. Get current pay stubs.
When a tenant is approved by me and ready to sign the lease, we go over it on the phone, line by line. The rent is due on the 1st, late on the 3rd, and if not paid with the late fee on the 4th, a 3 Day Pay or Quit notice is posted. After that, an eviction is filed, and they understand what that will cost them. I explain the rent process carefully and make sure they are clear on what will happen, on what day, and where it will end. We will not carry them; they'll need to borrow the money from a friend or family. A process server handles all paperwork and communication with the tenant going forward. Find a lawyer that specializes in landlord/tenant law, and get your lease from them. Not a divorce lawyer, criminal lawyer or personal injury lawyer.
The security deposit is due in full upon lease signing. The first full month's rent is due on the day of move-in; any pro-rated rent is applied to the second month. No installment payments, no personal checks. All this is explained in the pre-screening call (if we get past the first minute). It's in the lease, which we go over.
Even with all the precautions, occasionally a tenant's life will go off the rails. I've worked with good, long term tenants when they've had temporary problems. When a tenant stops communicating, it's never good, and you need to follow your process. Don't get emotional (with them), keep track of all texts, calls, email, etc. They can give their explanations to the judge, if they show up in court. In all these years, only 1 tenant ever did.
"Or maybe money is more important to you than having a good landlord tenant relationship."
Apparently, your tenant feels this is a just a one way relationship!