Real Estate Hedge Fund Manager’s take on the “ essence of influence"

What is the essence of influence?

I cannot understand the big deal about all these books written to explain the art and science of “Influence”, some were written by experts like Robert Cialdini, others were written by psychologists and the list goes on.

There are even seminars, podcasts, webinars, eBooks, and CDs about how to influence others.

Politicians love the subject and study influence furiously. Business people are enthralled about its potential and hire consultants and coaches to master it.

But wait a minute, isn’t “AGREEMENT” the essence of influence? If you ask people in the street: “Would you prefer that politicians lie to you, influence you or tell you the truth?” Unanimously the response is: “I would rather they tell me the truth!”

Truth creates “agreement” and that is the essence of influence. If you do not have an agreement with others you will have less communication and will most certainly end up breaking affinity with others.

Agreement based on truth is so vital to connect with others, to move people, and to get things done that one cannot do without it. One cannot fake the truth to gain agreement.

When an executive meets with his/her staff they seek agreement on the reality or the realities of the business. That agreement influences the thoughts, emotions, and actions of the group.

When a speaker or a salesperson presents the facts and figures about a subject matter or a product, people sense the congruency of the message and agree with the messenger. That influences their decisions and actions.

So after reading so much material on the subject matter of influence, I can summarize it all by saying: If you want to influence others, start by influencing yourself in being ethical, truthful and congruent in your beliefs and that will create an agreement with others and will influence them to do the right thing, at the right time, in the right way for the right reasons.

So don’t ask people to “believe”, or even tell them what to believe. Don’t even try to influence them using artistic methods and scientific techniques. Just ask them to seek the truth and they will find you if you are truthful and honest in your communication.

They will then come to your site and you will have “influence” based truth and agreement not based on positioning and packaging.

There is no trick to influence; it’s just an agreement on truth and reality.