Probate Letter Critique

[Eric M.]

The reason for this post is to receive feedback on a letter I just created. The reason I created this letter was the amount of "pissed off phone calls" to "happy phone calls" is making me miserable. Keep in mind this is the first contact. Please advise!

------------LETTER--------------------

"Hello,

First and foremost, I want to express my condolences for the loss of your loved one. I'm deeply sorry and wish I were contacting you under different circumstances. Please keep in mind that I'm acting with the best intentions, and mean no harm. To my knowledge, the estate of (DECEASED NAME) has property attached, and if there is any interest in selling, I may be able to help. [Incase you're wondering how I have this information, probate cases are all public record.]

My name is Eric, and I'm a real estate investor who would like to offer my services. I buy homes in the same area that I live - Monroe County. My role is to find people in need who would like to sell their house quickly and easily. Due to the sensitive nature of probate, a lot of people prefer to work with cash investors versus the retail market.

The main advantage of selling your home to a cash buyer like myself is the ease of transaction. Often times when you sell retail the house is listed with an agent who receives commission, you're home is priced at full market value and may not sell for months or years. In stark contrast, I'm able to provide a fair cash offer upon first visit, receive no commission and close within 30 days. Also - I buy all types of property in their "AS-IS" condition, so there is no need to spend extra money on renovations.

My main goal is to disclose an alternative option - I'll be the first to recommend an agent if I don't think I can help the family. I'm very aware that this may be a sensitive time, and selling the house may not be the top priority. However, when and if you're interested in selling, I'd very much appreciate an opportunity to help. I can be reached by telephone at XXX-XXX-XXXX.

Kind Regards,
Eric

[Rick H.]

@Eric - Don't worry about the people who don't want to do business with you. You are reacting to your aversion to rejection by people who are not going to make you money anyway. I'm sorry for those that disagree, but this is true. There are ways for you to filter the irritated callers without talking to them directly.

Yes, your letter is sensative, but takes a lot of words to say, 'hey, don't get mad at me if you don't like me writing you.' It doesn't really connect. It tiptoes. I myself don't respond we'll to those who lurk.

I've been much more successful writing a series of letters, each with their own theme and USP to appeal to the seller that I want to do business with and forgetting the others. Each theme might be something like: heads up, taxes due, I'm your go-to person for questions, attorney returning your calls timely? How's everyone getting along? Hopefully, you get the idea. Try to connect with the issues and concerns that's on their mind right now.

People aren't looking for a headache remedy when their head doesn't hurt and unless it is, probably forget that the even have a head!