Sellers Keep Playing Me Against Other Buyers And I Lose Out!

[Burt L.]

I've had two deals in a row where sellers have played me to get a higher price from another buyer, and I've been losing out. On the first one, I didn't know of the other party and it closed at only 1K above my offer. More recently, I knew of the other party as I saw them at the property but the seller was so enthusiastic with me and was more concerned with the closing date that I didn't go to highest and best, though it was certainly lurking mind during the conversation.

In each case, I was the first one contacted to make an offer, and the seller then goes to the other party as they are embarrassed to come back to me for a higher offer, which I may have done. Perhaps in the future I should say I don't want to make a first offer, but to come back to me later?

After my offer, each party has then "gone silent" and not responded to contact until "informing me" of their choice. On the other hand, I don't want to get into bidding wars either.

How does a person walk this fine line? Maybe I should be asking if they are speaking to another party on the deal first or to ask "where are you in the sales process" as Sean Terry suggests. It takes alot of marketing dollars to get the phone to ring and these are most frustrating as more time gets lost on top of it. What approach might you take in such situations?