Approaching an investor -- advice from a pro welcome!

[Rob Simpson]

Folks are encouraging me to seek private investors to help me with a deal.  This would be the first time I have approached anyone that isn't a big bank, so I'm unsure if what I am offering is enough to whet the appetite of someone with Bigger Pockets than me.  I'd appreciate some pointers from anybody that has worked a deal with a private investor to tell me what they'd do/offer differently. So, what I've put together below are some of the numbers I'm thinking.  I used 15% (simple) because it represents a "middle of the road" return compared to the volatile S&P 500 index over the last 5 years.

Would this tickle your investor's interest?  If not, why not?  

Purchase price	$1,700,000.00
Annual income	$312,900.00
Annual expense	$(89,308.00)
Annual set-aside	$(12,000.00)
NOI	$211,592.00
Less debt service	$(70,887.00)
Annual cash flow	$140,705.00
Investor Terms
Principal amount	$363,989.00
Interest rate	15.00%
Term	60/mos
Yield	$418,587.35
Gain	$54,598.35

[Nathan Gesner]

What about vacancies? Property management? 

As a rule of thumb, insurance is usually around 1% of purchase price. That's almost 4x what you show.

$12,000 for maintenance? 5% of purchase price would be conservative, which is $85,000 per year and 7x what you show.

Something doesn't smell right.