What Qualities Do You Look For In A Coach/Mentor
Gino BarbaroPro Member
Rental Property Investor · St Augustine, FL · Member since 2014 · 2k+ posts · 1k+ votesHi everyone,
Many people on BP are seeking a mentor to help them with investing in real estate. My question is what qualities and or skill set do you look for in a mentor. What are you looking to get from the relationship with the mentor. And what are you willing to give in return.
I often read that BPers are looking for help, but sometimes are not clear on what help they are looking for and what they are willing to add to the relationship
Thanks Guys! Your responses truly help me to craft a program that can serve real estate investors!
Your responses truly help me to craft a program that can serve real estate investors!
What program are you creating and why are you doing this?
I thought your post was excellent and I voted for you. However, I also thought your post was very disturbing as a mentor especially when you said the mentor you are looking for is the following.
Someone who has a sincere interest in helping, and has my best interest in mind.
Whose interest do you have in mind?
You did state that forming a partnership and offering a split that is favorable to both is a way to compensate the mentor. To me that is the only way you could compensate me if I were your mentor. But you may be just like all others who approached me and then fade away quickly when they realized that their first deal is not quick in coming. It seems that you and others like @Cassie Sherie are really after closing that first deal or first few deals for yourself with that mentor.
If it is all about you and your first deal or first few deals, you offer me very little value and in the end I have spent a lot of my time and money mentoring you to create success only for you. Cassie did state that she would take care of me by giving me a stake in the deal which will continue to give and pay back. Again this is the only way I would mentor Cassie and anyone else where we are successful together. However, getting to a point where you do your first deal successfully takes a lot of prep work. Focusing on that so much will only discourage you and the mentor.
If you want to be mentored successfully, figure out how to be create success for the mentor and you together. And be patient because it takes a lot to learn what your mentor knows and to do a deal successfully. What is worse than flaking out on a mentor is to make him/her lose money on you because you were not ready.
I am personally looking for a knowledgeable mentor, with the heart of a teacher. Someone who has a sincere interest in helping, and has my best interest in mind. A mentor who can be a friend and partner. Someone who can initially do some "hand holding" through the first few deals.
My experience thus far has been somewhat disappointing, as most investors are too busy growing their own business, or they simply have no interest in mentoring someone. Then you have the mentor/guru's, you have to pay. These mentors tend to be overpriced, for someone who is struggling to begin with. They tend to be firm, and unwilling to provide reasonable payment plans. Basically, it's a sink or swim scenario with these types of mentors. If you can't afford their steep price, you are shunned, and labeled as a "non-action" taker. Go figure!
Can an organic mentor-ship exist? I'm sure it can. Especially if you have a close friend or family member who is an investor. But finding a "Mr. Miyagi" to guide you in real estate investing seems like something you would only see in movies.
I realize some may question my rationale, when it comes to what I bring to the table. Well, helping to find deals and develop partnerships is one approach. If I have to pay to have a mentor, then I would say that making reasonable and affordable payments would be realistic. Perhaps forming partnerships and offering a split that is favorable to my mentor, is another creative way to compensate my mentor/partner.
Rather than looking for mentor's to guide me through the process of "creative financing", I may simply consider more traditional ways of investing and start using realtors.
Hi Orlando
I think everyone's mantra should be Learn-Do-Teach. I love the coaching model because in my experience when people have skin in the game, they will put more into it and will be held accountable and will perform better
thanks for your analysis
Gino
@Gino Barbaro tough to say... everyone has their own wants/needs from a mentor- coach relationship. What you should also keep in mind is that people seeking a coach or mentor may have been let down, disappointed, or burned in the past by someone saying they could/would help them. So regardless of you knowing you are in it for the right reasons the person who's been burned in the past might be skeptical as to what your intentions are. There's just so many "guru/coach" types out there over promising and under delivering. Yeah and there could be slackers that seek coaching but they are not doing the work that it takes to succeed. So my advice to you is for you to take the time to evaluate where you are at in your life, how much time you have to dedicate to these people who are paying you.... and if you can truly deliver on what you say you will do and help with so it's beneficial for both parties. I think it is also important if the coaching and mentorship is one on one in person not just online, emails, phone calls... that you make sure the person is serious and willing to do whatever it takes so you don't waste your time with them when you could have been making a difference and greatly impacting someone elses life who will do whatever it takes! Make sure your mindset and their mindset matches up and you are like minded and a good fit. This will save a lot of frustration, disagreements, and push back between each other. Would be nice if this could all be decided old school with a simple handshake and agreement. Done!
Personally I'd love to have a mentor that will guide me through finding and closing my first apartment complex deal, teach me creative financing and what they know in general, and if they deliver on their end I will deliver on my end and take care of them by giving them a stake in the deal which will continue to give and pay back ongoing month after month, and when the property sells they will be generously compensated again. The key to all of this is actually finding and closing that first deal, because it will then give the mentee the confidence, know how, and means to do the next deal and the next...and isn't that the whole point??
to me that defines the ultimate win win situation.
Couldn't have said it better myself. I like to add life coaching as an element to being a mentor. Most of us are stuck or unsure of how to proceed, I have found that if a person works on themselves before diving into a project or new arena, they will be better equipped. Sometimes you have to define why a person wants to invest in real estate and see if it is for the right reasons and make sure you give them the tools to follow through
Gino
@Gino Barbaro glad we're on the same page! 👌 yeah people should definitely work on themselves and mindset first and foremost...because if your mind is not in the right state, it's highly possible that nothing else is going to go right.
also, if you ever decide to do a mentorship like the one I described above, let me know! I want to be first on the list and figure out how to make it happen! 👍
The value of a coach is someone who has done it and can cut your learning curve by saving you time and money. Most people say when they get the money they can afford the coaching. Unfortunately, life don't work that way. You need to spend money on your education, even if you don't have it. You also want to surround yourself with like minded people who have succeeded and have a framework on how to achieve success.
Hi Brian
do you have any type of mastermind group? That would be a powerful way to get likeminded individuals brain storming. I totally agree that you need to learn the skills It is a business, and my focus is on multis. I also like to bring the life coach aspect into it. A person's should needs to become a must or else all the wonderful skills you impart on your student will not be utilized once you part ways. You want to make the change lasting.
I am 20 minutes from Cross River. I will look them up and get back to you.
Your responses truly help me to craft a program that can serve real estate investors!
What program are you creating and why are you doing this?
I thought your post was excellent and I voted for you. However, I also thought your post was very disturbing as a mentor especially when you said the mentor you are looking for is the following.
Someone who has a sincere interest in helping, and has my best interest in mind.
Whose interest do you have in mind?
You did state that forming a partnership and offering a split that is favorable to both is a way to compensate the mentor. To me that is the only way you could compensate me if I were your mentor. But you may be just like all others who approached me and then fade away quickly when they realized that their first deal is not quick in coming. It seems that you and others like @Cassie Sherie are really after closing that first deal or first few deals for yourself with that mentor.
If it is all about you and your first deal or first few deals, you offer me very little value and in the end I have spent a lot of my time and money mentoring you to create success only for you. Cassie did state that she would take care of me by giving me a stake in the deal which will continue to give and pay back. Again this is the only way I would mentor Cassie and anyone else where we are successful together. However, getting to a point where you do your first deal successfully takes a lot of prep work. Focusing on that so much will only discourage you and the mentor.
If you want to be mentored successfully, figure out how to be create success for the mentor and you together. And be patient because it takes a lot to learn what your mentor knows and to do a deal successfully. What is worse than flaking out on a mentor is to make him/her lose money on you because you were not ready.
There is a reason some of the same successful folks are in the same conversations.
Hope all is well
Alex
I have created a multifamily product that will include 16 live recorded teach calls that follows the program. It will be ready to launch in about six weeks. I view coaching as completely different as mentoring. A coach is detached and has no personal agenda. He knows that the client has their own answers and it is his job to ask empowering questions to the client. His job is also to raise the level of energy of the client, thus changing his state and allowing the client to see things from a different perspective It is not a coach's job to give advice. I Business coach is a bit different and can be viewed as a consultant, one who is hired to solve a problem, in the case you referenced, to buy an apartment. To me, a mentor is a person who has vast experience who wants to give back his knowledge to novices and people looking to enter a certain vocation.
These are pretty clear distinctions. I just want people to realize the difference and choose which ne is best for them. I used a real estate coach to learn the business, and a life coach to develop a met plan for my life. The meta plan obviously involved real estate, and it was my launching pad to my education.
Best
Gino
@Gino Barbaro I understand now exactly the difference. But I am still confused a bit. Are you coaching only in the multifamily product?
I believe those who look for a mentor in BP are actually looking not for a coach but a mentor as evidenced by the responses to your post.
Hi Brian
do you have any type of mastermind group? That would be a powerful way to get likeminded individuals brain storming. I totally agree that you need to learn the skills It is a business, and my focus is on multis. I also like to bring the life coach aspect into it. A person's should needs to become a must or else all the wonderful skills you impart on your student will not be utilized once you part ways. You want to make the change lasting.
I am 20 minutes from Cross River. I will look them up and get back to you.
Regarding life coaching I like the book by Tony Robbins "Awake the Giant Within" and audio recordings by Les Brown and Jim Rohn
If you drill for skill on the basics, and you keep your head straight without chasing "shiny objects", you should do just fine. I set a minimum goal for my students of one hundred thousand in gross income, Business expenses of 20 to 30,000, and keeping their current job
My focus is not buy-and-hold right away but in transaction engineering and using not traditional financing but creative financing.
The critical skill in my business is negotiating with the seller. There's a lot of NLP and other skills that are mandatory for success in creative financing negotiations.
When people work with me for 100 hours over 12 months, I can only think that the relationship they have with me is pretty solid and they keep that experience internally for a very long time, if they applied themselves.
Hi Kevin
I am business coaching in multifamily and everything it entails: entity formation, creative financing, deal analysis, management, finance, team building, and various other skill sets in the space. My partner and I have created a specific framework with 3 distinct pillars :Buy Right, Manage Right, Finance Right. We have called the product Wheelbarrow Profits: The two legs of the wheelbarrow signify the buy and finance portions They are both fixed and once done properly, will secure your asset. The manage portion is the wheel because it is in constant motion. You need to execute on all three facets to have a profitable investment.
I am also a life coach, and really enjoy that part of coaching. People need to work on themselves and life coaching is a great place to begin your personal development.
@Kevin Yoo - I am glad you liked my post and appreciate the vote. I realize that my post could come across as a bit self-centered, but my focus was on answering the question… “What Qualities Do You Look For In A Coach/Mentor?” So I tried to answer the question strictly on that point of view.
Putting myself in a mentor’s place, I would want to work with someone who has an equal desire to learn, and a goal in their journey. The person I mentor would need to work alongside me as a partner. By taking on a partner role. This person would learn by doing and asking questions. For many of us, when we graduate from college, we begin the learning process all over again. The work environment provides real life problem solving, and work experience. My role as a mentor would be to provide direction and support, much like a trainer at a company or a journeyman to an apprentice. I would not want to bother trying to teach someone who does not want to put in work and effort.
As I mentioned in my post, it would be great if we all had a "Mr. Miyagi" type investor appear and help us become his/her protégé without putting money up front. But even Daniel had to wax all of Mr. Miyagi's cars, as a way of compensating while learning basic moves. What I have seen with paid mentors, is (a) The high upfront cost, (b) No reasonable financing, and (c) No creative approach to making the training more attainable. In other words, many (not all) will offer training but won't consider compensation via partnered deals. Most of my local guru's will only partner with you, if you spend $10k and up. One of them will partner with you after spending $10k, then sells you on using his VA and other products. Another common trait I see with many of the guru/mentors (especially the local one's), is how they generalize everyone's unique circumstance. Basically, if you can't buy into their program, then you lack ambition. It's funny to see how quickly some of the students who follow these guru's will shun you, when you are seen as someone who can't buy into the program. You are instantly categorized as a tire kicker or someone who does not take action. I can only speak for my own circumstances. At the end of the month, I am responsible for two households… mine, and the one my children reside in, as I am a struggling separated dad. My responsibilities simply come first. I don't think my landlord would be too understanding if I told him I could not pay the rent because I was taking a guru course! Lol!
I can understand your views on the possibilities that could come from taking on a student. Like you said, the ambition may not be as strong as anticipated. As there are many ways to invest in real estate, a potential student needs to understand the pro’s and con’s behind the basic strategies. Not everyone wants to be a landlord. Not everyone wants to be a flipper. Not everyone wants to be a full time marketer (wholesaler and lease options). A student who works with a mentor who specializes in flipping, may discover that they don’t like that type of investing. Unfortunately, it may simply be a mismatch for that particular student/mentor scenario.
Finally, to answer your question… I am looking to close some deals initially with help from my mentor. I am also looking to build a solid relationship with my mentor, where it does not end when my mentorship ends. Ideally we all learn from each other. My goal would be to learn and close deals with my mentor, start closing my own deals as well, and have an ongoing partnership with my mentor. For me, it would be an ongoing relationship.
I knew you were answering from the POV of a mentee. And completely understood what you were asking for.
Let me solicit your opinion of how we do things. Tell me if this is a good approach or a bad approach for you.
When I have people call me to help them do a deal and effectively asking me to be their mentor, I tell them no. I have done that before and lost a lot of money. Betting on someone with a lack of experience is a losing proposition.
Instead, I tell them to join us as a Managing Partner. In that role, you bring us other operators who are very good at what they are doing. You then manage that relationship while we establish a JVA with them and fund their projects. In this way, you learn the ropes of how to successfully do deals. And after managing one or several relationships well and only after proving yourself this way, we would then fund your own deals.
We don't sell you anything and demand any money from you. We do, however, demand your time and hard work. We also compensate you by giving you 10 to 20% of our profit from any ventures you manage for us.
We currently have four MPs and they are just starting to receive compensations and helping us complete multiple projects all over the country.
What do you think?
I knew you were answering from the POV of a mentee. And completely understood what you were asking for.
Let me solicit your opinion of how we do things. Tell me if this is a good approach or a bad approach for you.
When I have people call me to help them do a deal and effectively asking me to be their mentor, I tell them no. I have done that before and lost a lot of money. Betting on someone with a lack of experience is a losing proposition.
Instead, I tell them to join us as a Managing Partner. In that role, you bring us other operators who are very good at what they are doing. You then manage that relationship while we establish a JVA with them and fund their projects. In this way, you learn the ropes of how to successfully do deals. And after managing one or several relationships well and only after proving yourself this way, we would then fund your own deals.
We don't sell you anything and demand any money from you. We do, however, demand your time and hard work. We also compensate you by giving you 10 to 20% of our profit from any ventures you manage for us.
We currently have four MPs and they are just starting to receive compensations and helping us complete multiple projects all over the country.
What do you think?
Kevin,
This is an interesting approach that you have established. Seems pretty straight forward and to the point. No upselling other products, No Money demands, No nonsense, all business and actionable steps toward learning the process and reaching goals. 👌
Thanks @Cassie Sherie.
This role is being developed as we speak and by trial and error. You would be surprised by how many people don't get it (people that contact me through BP) and how many people simply won't work this way and upset at why we will not do a deal with them.
I think that betting on someone who lacks experience is always a liability. This holds true for any line of work. Inexperienced college grads are liabilities to the companies that give them their first break. The added gamble is training someone who could move on to work for a competitor, or become your competitor.
So in a sense the managing partner would take on a sales rep. role. The partner would seek out investors who are strong players seeking funding, and be a liaison between your organization, and the investor. Sounds like an interesting concept, and a good way for a student to get their foot in the door.
The compensation sounds very appealing, considering that it’s a student/mentor type of role.
Overall, it sounds appealing and straight forward. Sounds like a role that is networking intensive, which is something that investors should be doing anyway. Why not profit from it.
What is seems like you are proposing is getting novices and having them partner in your venture. You are in effect raising money and I don't see the value to someone who wants to learn the business by buying a property themselves, running it, repositioning it, financing it, etc.
If people are calling you for help to do a deal, you should have some type of educational materials they can follow, a framework. Having a newbie give you money teaches them next to nothing about the business. Doing deals comprises so much more than the buying process. Try dealing with accountants who prepare crap returns, managers who steal rent, employees that don't come to work.
This is not being a coach/mentor to me.
Gino
At the risk of offending you, I must say you are one of many on BP that do not get our approach to mentorship. No money is raised by the mentee. No money is brought to the table by the mentee. No money is used by the mentee to buy anything from us.
But you are right in saying that what we do has no value for someone that wants to learn the business by buying a property THEMSELVES, running it, etc. We only have value for those that want to do it with a team which is us.
We will not use our money to do that for the novice any longer. We have graduated from that school of hard knocks. Multiple members of BP who were novices were our teachers in that school.
I do not understand how having educational materials would benefit someone that calls me to help with a deal. They want me to help them do THAT deal. Usually they have to close within a few days and need the cash right away. Educational materials that they have to pay for is not what they want.
I do agree with you that doing deals comprises so much more than the buying process. And in the end, I believe we are saying the same thing. Our education is not through some paid-for manuals, meetings, or recordings. It is on-the-job training. It is really just an internship.
That's the problem. You don't call someone a week before you do a deal to get advice. Don't you think the person should have received his education before actually going out to look for deals. Guys are going out there just casting a wide net, nobody is actually picking a niche and learning that niche.
If they got some form of education, they wouldn't be looking for money a few days from closing.
People are so afraid to spend money on real estate education, while college education is north of 100,000 and most times, the student has no skill set to go out and earn. He has to get more schooling.
Maybe their discomfort from spending money is because they spent it on college and their ROI was not what they expected.