How do you avoid becoming cynical about people in this business?

Question

In this business (at least, being a landlord), you're often dealing with people at their worst, or else there's at least mutual distrust among various parties. While it's true that this can happen in a corporate environment too, that often seems to be at arm's length, while this is more in your face. While that's good in some ways because it can make someone more savvy, it can also make someone very jaded about human beings in general. I was wondering what other people thought about this.

Steve Babiak · Answer

I try to tell people to be a skeptic, but to avoid becoming a cynic.  Explore the definitions of these two words to understand the difference.

Definitions:
skeptic : 1. Someone who habitually doubts beliefs and claims presented as accepted by others, requiring strong evidence before accepting any belief or claim. 
2 Someone undecided as to what is true.

cynic : 1. A person who believes that all people are motivated by selfishness.
2. A person whose outlook is scornfully negative.

A skeptic basically is careful when it comes to trusting somebody; a cynic has a negative outlook toward all people - and a cynic usually is unwilling to reconsider the position they have taken.

Mark N.A · Answer

There's no doubt that it takes certain unique skill sets to maintain one's equanamity in this racket.

But speaking from experience, I know there are worse ways to earn a nickel, and worse people to deal with than evil tenants, mendacious lawyers, petty civil servants, obstreperous bureaucrats, dishonest vendors, thieving contractors, lying business partners and ......

Geez, maybe I better rethink this whole thing.

Marc Freislinger · Answer

I haven't been doing this as long as many of the people here, but I've learned a lot.

I've had tenants skip, sue me, destroy things, cuss at me, and threaten me.

I've had very good tenants, who pay rent, take care of the apartment, and are pleasant to speak with. Unfortunately, that is not the majority of the class of people my company deals with. In 6 years, I have NEVER had a single person catch up rent payments after being more than a month behind. I have over $26,000 in collections from tenants that have skipped out and never paid (including over $1k from a BP member.)

It is very easy to become jaded. I do believe I treat people very differently than I did when I first started. However, as long as you continue to be fair, and treat each personal as an individual, I think it is better to protect yourself. The sooner you learn not to trust, the sooner you can save yourself loads of money. If you can't be hard on your tenants, they'll walk over you. It may be best to get a PM.

Jon Klaus · Answer

Plus 1 for using equanimity, mendacious, and obstreperous in the same post.

Account Closed · Answer

not sure how to prevent becoming cynical when everyone is out to screw you...lol just playin... :mrgreen:

seriously though, i am skeptical of everybody..i don't think this is a bad thing..i used to trust people, then i got stuck with a 300 heating bill from a tenant who also didn't pay the rent, yada, yada..there's tons of stories out there...i have just learned my lesson on trusting peole and keep up my "im not buyin it" stare

Bryan Hancock · Answer

It goes with the territory I think.  Most experienced people enter real estate deals wondering how someone will screw them or what the worst case could be.  You hope for the best and realize that it is likely to happen, but after getting burned and seeing the nastiness of the business you learn how to protect yourself as much as possible too.

I have seen people flush their whole life savings, lend money without knowing what they were doing and get screwed, screw over their partners, etc.  It is a nasty world out there unfortunately and I don't know how to keep from getting jaded.  Jaded to one person is cautious and business savvy to another.

Bryan Hancock · Answer

After you hear your fair share of sob stories you start to grow thick skin.  It is just part of the business of dealing with people that are irresponsible and want to blame the world for their problems.  I used to get aggravated about it, but now it just slides right off my back.  You're running a business.  Those that treat their business like a charity will soon need charity!

Loc R. · Answer

The moment you go soft and "lose your edge" is the day you need to get out of the real estate business, IMO.

Due to the large sums of money involved, from the price of real estate itself, the availability to leverage, financing, legal, and others, you have to stay on your toes or you stand to lose a lot of money since the money itself will attract snake-oil salesmen and con artists.

You must assume everything is a lie, whether you're a landlord, a potential buyer on a house, etc.

Jeffrey K. · Answer

I was not nice to begin with so that helped (my smile in my profile picture is fake lol).  The problem is, you have to turn off or hide your pitbull rent collection side when you are showing units, dealing with vendors, and dealing in your personal life.  Sometimes I find this hard and people catch me acting in a way that is not normal.  This business is not a friendly win-win type and you have to be ready to makes some changes in your life and view of the world.

Greg B. · Answer

For every jerk I have met in this business, tenant or otherwise, I have met several awesome people.  If you just focus on the negative you won't be aware of all the positives around you.

And, yes, I have been a REI and landlord for 4 years.  Also, a school teacher.

How do you avoid becoming cynical about people in this business?

Most Popular Reply