Haters are Gonna Hate / Does it Motivate You?

Question

I assume, many Newbies and seasoned investors have experienced some “hate/envy/nay-saying” as you began your journeys. I’d like to hear how each of us takes it, and turns it into more motivation.

I must say, the Bigger Pockets Community showed nothing but support and encouragement when I posted about my first 2 deals. My Facebook “Friends” were vast majority encouraging. However, one Hater in particular stood out to me.

I won’t go into specifics. However, all he did was reinforce my resolve and persistence in staying my course. My Why, is my Family. I do also take supreme enjoyment in proving Haters wrong.

How have you taken peoples’ negativity about your REI journey and used it as additional motivation?

Nathan Gesner · Answer

I don't let other's opinions affect my behavior. You can let the world change you or you can change the world.

Brian Burke · Answer

@Michael S. the naysayers will always be there and that’s fine—they are helping you.

When they tell you it’s impossible, difficult or you can’t do this or that, like it or not it causes you to do one thing or another, whether it’s to deepen your resolve, aim to prove them wrong, or question your own motives to more clearly understand your “why”. Or maybe they’re right and you’ll figure out you are doing it wrong and find a better way. Each of those makes you a better investor.

When I first started buying real estate I was 20 years old, had no money, no real estate education, no connections...and people told me I was too young, too broke, too whatever. That didn’t stop me, but it prompted me to learn more and press on.

After doing a few dozen deals, I put in my notice to quit my law enforcement job after over a decade of service. I remember one of my sergeants asking me if I really wanted to do this—give up the retirement, health benefits, and steady paycheck.  Of course I wanted to do it, but it did make me take a deeper dive into what I really wanted from life.  It made me think hard to be sure I had my “why” straight.

28 years and 735 properties after that first deal, the doubters are still there. Nowadays I buy properties priced around $20 million, funded by investments from individual investors.  I’ll get a lot of investors that don’t invest money in a deal for this reason or that reason.  But that’s OK, each of those “no’s” makes me look into their reason to make sure I’m properly explaining the issue they are concerned about, or dive deeper to make sure they aren’t seeing something that I’m not, all of which just makes the story (and the deal) stronger.

The naysayers never go away so just get used to co-existing with them and use it to make yourself better.  And when the naysayer calls you a few years after passing on your deal and says “I was wrong and I really missed out” you’ll get the satisfaction of knowing that you are doing it right and the negativity never was about you—it’s about the fears of the person making the comment.  Use it to your advantage.

Sean Durham · Answer

I subscribe to a "don't talk about it, be about it" as a guiding principle - and sometimes likely to my own detriment. BP has really been the only media where I've discussed investing.

Reading this article from Derek Sivers a few years ago completely changed my philosophy on sharing projects - https://sivers.org/zipit

RE: Haters - I try to use any external resistance/friction as guideposts, pointing us more clearly down the path we're on.

Gino Barbaro · Answer

@Michael S.

Hi Michael

You will always have people doubting you. You have two choices, don't tell them or get rid of them.  Two types of motivation, moving away from pain or moving towards pleasure. Use both of them, moving away from pain is simply using the haters to motivate you.

I only needed to prove my success to myself, and I should not care what anyone else thinks of me. It seems you have figured out your M&P (mission and purpose), so let that drive you. It is much more empowering!

Keep posting your successes. Real winners get inspired by other's wins!

Michael S. · Answer

@Sean Durham I also subscribe to the same tenet. I didn't talk about it for a couple years until I actually had deals done. The article was a good read. For me, I think stating goals publicly or in writing, formalizes them and opens up external accountability to meeting said goals. Still an interesting read.

Brian Pulaski · Answer

Never met anyone who "hated" what I was doing. Some showed concern, but never anyone downright negative (which I assume is what you are referring to). As a matter of fact most showed interest in what I was doing.

Michael S. · Answer

@Brian Burke that's great advice. Thanks for taking the time for such a well thought out and thorough response. I appreciate the insight. Sounds like you take your issues and use it to prepare to overcome objections down the line. Either way, there's value in each exchange positive or negative.

Michael S. · Answer

@Sam Josh I am not the most prolific or adept user of Social Media. While the response was irritating and motivating, it also reminded me why I tend to keep my business to myself. However, I want folks in my circle to see our progress over the next couple years, and ask questions, and get engaged. You're right, double-edged sword.

Haters are Gonna Hate / Does it Motivate You?

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