How do I get my wife to want to continue buying more houses??

Question

Hey guys! Here's the situation...

We just bought our first rental property and in an effort to save some money on the renovation, my wife took the last few months off work and, along with some help from our "flipper friends," she has handled pretty much all of the repairs at the house. Needless to say, my amazing wife is EXHAUSTED!!

Being the guy with HUGE financial goals for us, I want to be buying 1 property/year for the next few years. My wife, on the other hand, is so wiped out with this recent renovation, the thought of getting into another fixer-upper just ain't happening anytime soon.

I'm reading Brandon's book now where he talks about how to get your spouse on board, and I also wanted to see if any of you have gone through anything like this. If so, how did you handle?

Thanks so much!!

Jon Holdman · Answer

Doesn't sound to me like the issue is persuading your wife to buy houses.  Its persuading her to take MONTHS off from her job and rehab houses.  Frankly I don't blame her for being unenthusiastic.  Seems like your "HUGE financial goals" involve buying her a job she doesn't want.   I think the two of you need to discuss your goals and come to an agreement that satisfies both of you.  She's your wife, not your unpaid laborer.  Hey, you got one rehab out of her.  My wife would have told me right up front what I could do with the rehab project.

I did a couple of these projects.  Only it was me doing most of the work (on the first one) and some less but still a lot (on the second).  I didn't take off from my regular job, so it was nights and weekends for weeks on end.  I've done another project where all the work was done by contractors.  It still requires a lot of time and supervision.   Honestly I don't think I would do it again, as long as I have a day job.

Account Closed · Answer

@Adam Bordes You're in tough spot because she's actually flipped a house, meaning this is not a conceptual debate. She knows what she wants.

There are other ways to reach "HUGE financial goals." Maybe consider WHY you have those goals and be willing to scrutinize whether or not you have the right goals for the right reasons.

For example, some people want to achieve early financial freedom because they hate their jobs and want to quit. But maybe a career change (sooner rather than later) would make them happier sooner and take some of the pressure off.

I don't know your reasons, but you do, and I'm willing to bet that you have more options than you are currently considering. Good luck to you both!

Michael Plante · Answer

it is 1:30 AM on Saturday night.  I can not get to sleep

I am so excited about going to work on Monday on one of my 4 flips I have going on

And I don’t even need the money

I get so much satisfaction out of doing so many different projects on them I prefer it over going on vacation

Life is short if you don’t have passion for this stuff. STOP Doing it

There are so MANY other ways to make more money than real estate.  Maybe she would enjoy one of them instead

It doesn’t sound to me that your wife likes it even 1/100th as this much

Happy wife, happy life. Let her be happy

Ali Boone · Answer

Well why don't you come up with a middle ground? Continue buying houses but ones that either need significantly less rehabbing, or no rehabbing, or hire a project manager to replace your wife's role. It doesn't really have to be black or white I wouldn't think. But don't kill your wife in the meantime! No financial goals are worth that.

Anthony Gayden · Answer

How about a flipping show on HGTV where the man is in charge of the design, and the woman is the General Contractor?

Adam Bordes · Answer

Geeeez, tough crowd!  =)

Seriously though, thank all of you so much for the input and feedback! To be honest, I never asked my wife to do any of it. I actually pushed (hard) to have a GC come in and handle every part of the renovation. This was something she felt would be the best financial decision for us instead of us working with a contractor. Also, after 12-13 hour days at the office, I would get to the rental and work for several hours. We also worked on it together on weekends.

@Jason Allen - I love the idea of taking some time away from the first house to let the dust settle. She is definitely my #1 priority and there's nothing in the world that's worth risking my marriage or her sanity!  =)

Account Closed

Account Closed · Answer

@Adam BordesAll right, good luck with that.

How do I get my wife to want to continue buying more houses??

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