Advice on how to deal with partner who's changed his mind on REI

Advice on how to deal with partner who's changed his mind on REI

Beloit, WI · Member since 2016 · 100 posts · 40 votes

We just closed on our first SFH (near my hometown) to rent out; have the contract with PM ready to sign; insurance is bought; minor repairs are being done to the home.

But we found that the PM requires more insurance than we bought ($1M, not 500k) and so now my husband thinks this was a useless investment, because he thinks the insurance cost will now double (I don't think so, but still waiting to learn about the increase).

In his defense, he's currently under a lot of stress and perhaps feels "left out" a bit since I'm the one doing most of this work. I try to tell him everything that's essential and he was very involved in choosing the house; even spent his weekends while I was working pouring over the listings the realtor sent us. (He's not from the USA, we don't live there and the REI scene is different than here; plus when he reads news about REI in the USA it's from the very biased govt. run media which typically puts a negative spin on anything "foreign")

This morning he said he doesn't want to buy any more properties and "it's no wonder all REIs need to keep their day job!" Apparently he's read this somewhere and while there's no way we could quit our jobs with just a couple properties, I'm certain once we have 5-10, and are local (this being the key factor), one of us can take over management as our "job" as we continue to buy more.

So, although we've been on the same page most of the time so far, I'm wondering what others would or have said to a skeptical partner. 

And at what point did/would you quit your other job? From reading here and listening to podcasts, I know a lot of people like their jobs and will continue no matter what. Others like that it provides them with the W2 income to get loans. And then some make the leap without being fully sure and just go for it because they do hate their job. 

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Wholesaler/ Buy and Hold Investor · Sherwood, AR · Member since 2015 · 83 posts · 18 votes
9y

Address his fears through education. Don't belittle his fears. Build up his confidence. Make him feel included. Don't let an emotional situation hurt your lasting relationship. Remember what's important. Read or listen to "How to Win and Influence Friends" by Dale Carnegie. YouTube has many free viable options to learn Carnegie's friendship philosophy. 

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  • Investor/Realtor · Hoover, AL · Member since 2010 · 1k+ posts · 459 votes
    9y

    @Charlotte Edwards..It depends.  I quit my Corp job after the 1st year, so I could focus on RE full time.   I started buying more wholesale(rehab) properties and my husband supported the fam.  However, I manage and handle everything with the properties.  At one point, hubby said he would not contribute to business, so I got more creative and continued to grow.  It can be stressful on a marriage if you're not on the same page.

    Tip...I got a flexible part time job as a substitute teacher...So, if I wasn't working on an extensive rehab, I worked at the school...In the beginning, I painted, cut grass and purchased all material to save $$$...

    If it's your Desire to do RE and you're 100% committed,  your husband will probably honor that...GL

  • Real Estate Agent · Cupertino, CA · Member since 2016 · 4k+ posts · 1k+ votes
    9y

    I got on Trulia looking at homes near your town in Wisconsin. My impression is one can have a rental there as tax write off. To live on have a happy life and good marriage that is not the location I will consider. That was redflag 1.  I feel nervous to work with a partner out of town but alone not in US. That is redflag 2.  If your hubby feel nervous may be you should put on your brakes for now. 

    Having 5-10  dwellings in this kind of rural community invites disaster during the recession-Not enough high paid jobs to sustain revenue.  

    All the best,

    S.

  • Flipper/Rehabber · Charlotte, NC · Member since 2016 · 112 posts · 66 votes
    9y

    1. Doubling your insurance coverage will be a nominal difference in premium

    2. If hubby thought that insurance doubling is a deal breaker for this property or your future in REI, then he will throw in the towel over something else super minor as well. There are alot of fun surprises in REI. But regardless, stick it out because it will pay off.

    3. 5-10 house leveraged won't give you enough cash flow to quit most likely unless you do something else in real estate.

  • Wholesaler/ Buy and Hold Investor · Sherwood, AR · Member since 2015 · 83 posts · 18 votes
    9y

    Address his fears through education. Don't belittle his fears. Build up his confidence. Make him feel included. Don't let an emotional situation hurt your lasting relationship. Remember what's important. Read or listen to "How to Win and Influence Friends" by Dale Carnegie. YouTube has many free viable options to learn Carnegie's friendship philosophy. 

  • Beloit, WI · Member since 2016 · 100 posts · 40 votes
    9y

    Tanks for the replies everyone! Very much appreciated!

    @Rolanda Eldridge He's actually been wanting to get into this longer than I have. Due to our decision to invest in the USA rather than his home country, the brunt of the work falls to me. I understand that; he's been dealing with issues that I haven't while we live abroad.

    I am the main breadwinner and I'm already at my personal max of hours that I can work without going crazy and not having time for the kids. :)


    @Sam Shueh We chose the location based on where I'm from and have family. My sister's been helping us; while she's not in the RE industry, she has the most experience with buying, renovating and selling houses and plans to get into REI in the future. So while we're not there, we've worked closely with her and the realtor and have educated ourselves as much as possible.

    We chose the city rather than a smaller community since there are more renters, rather than a smaller town where more are owners. Paid cash and keeping a large emergency fund to cover expenses, so we have very few worries about a wide-spread financial  problem.  

    @Scott Patterson

    Well, we're in it now; he's not getting out! I'm not ready to give up :) He's heard from some former colleagues who are in the USA now and their spouses are managing their several rentals each, not working other jobs. But I suppose they could be exaggerating in how good of a business it is.

    @Jamarcus Joseph Yes, education is always powerful. I took some time to simmer down and also let him collect his thoughts. I've never read that book, it's on my list, but didn't' think about going to YouTube to look for video content. Will certainly do that and listen while working out.

  • Wholesaler/ Buy and Hold Investor · Sherwood, AR · Member since 2015 · 83 posts · 18 votes
    9y

    I'm not sure if yall addressed the emotional and psychological wears of stereotypical upbringing concerning the world of female breadwinners. But this interview seemed to hit on some good points that may help your situation. 

    From an outside perspective, his need to protect is being threatened. Not only are you bringing more money in than he is, you've unintentionally cut him out of the investment process. You have history with your team and don't necessarily need his input or approval. On some level, you may even have to address you ignoring his approval because of your own skill. And you should be proud of them. 

    Balancing business and family life as they grow is a skill I'm working on. Jim Rohn talks about not sacrificing too much and knowing the future non-financial costs of your decisions today. My wife and I try to read books together and will likely read "His Needs/Her Needs" by Dr Willard F. Harley, Jr. I do like the sound of this book that was reviewed on YouTube. 

    His Needs/Her Needs Book Review

    Superior Wife Syndrome Book Review

    Rules for the Female Breadwinner - YouTube

    "When She Makes More" YouTube search

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