Emotional Wreck

[Brenda Whittaker]

I always hated being stuck in human body, and the human brain is even worse.  It has this storage of ridiculous stupid emotions that hold us back and in my case it's stronger than any rational capabilities I didnt get enough of during creation....  my emotional attachment to my real estate is ruining my life.  I can't stop lamenting about properties I have so stupidly lost, like the apartment complex I so stupidly sold for no reason, it was one of those brain farts.  It was a miracle that I was able to get into it, an old assumable bank loan and owner carried the rest.  I'd have $1M in that asset today and about $5000 month income, but NO.  I sold it, ten years ago.  Or the industrial building I built with equity out of my own home, sold just before the skyrocketing values of course, and the buyer made a cool $500,000 profit off my building, which btw I m still trying to pay off that home loan for, 20 years later. I regret those mistakes every day, and I am fully aware that I need to let go but I simply have been unable to, even with ten years of studying self help programs. Now I have a cute little rental in another state that Im going to be forced to sell because I desperately need the money, and Im so heartbroken over it I am frozen in anxiety and can't make the trip out to get it ready for sale.  I can't get a loan against it because I dont meet all the f____ing criteria, even with ridiculously expensive hard money.  I just want to bury my head in the sand and dream of far away places.