Psychological Reactance (Reverse Psychology) and how to use it

[John Martinez]

Give the seller (or the buyer) the freedom to say “No.”

This is written from the perspective of an investor with the intent to get a great deal on a property. This sales strategy, rooted in psychological reactance, also holds true when selling. 

It may sound simplistic, but the secret to increasing sales rests in your ability to get sellers to tell you “no.” Great salespeople get their share of yes’s, but they also hear a lot of no’s. What they don’t accept are “maybes” or “think-it-overs.”

Maybes and think-it-overs waste your time. They cause you to follow up on deals that should have been removed from your pipeline. They give you false hope. They discourage you from dedicating more of your time and energy to prospecting and marketing. In short, they are poison to your wholesaling career. Eliminate think-it-overs and you’ll blow through deals faster than Usain Bolt in the 100-meter dash.

Traditionally, salespeople have always pushed their prospects to say yes. We’ve all heard the line “What’s it going to take for you to sell today." People love to buy and sell, but they hate to "be sold". In pushing for a yes, the old-school salesperson makes his prospects feel like they are "being sold", and they naturally resist.

Instead, tell your prospects up front that it is okay to say no and then push for a no (instead of a yes) whenever your prospects show ambivalence about selling to you. When it’s time to ask for their business, instead of pushing prospects to to sell using some outdated closing tactic or trick, tell them in advance that at the end of your meeting they will need to make a final decision. Obviously a decision to sell to you would be wonderful, but make sure they understand that a no is also acceptable. As you move through the sales process, seek agreement at the end of each step in the process and at the end of each sales call about whether you and your prospect should take the next step together. When you reach the end of the sales process, your prospects should already know that they will be expected to make a final decision.

If upon reaching the end of the sales process, your prospect is still uncertain whether to sell to you, don’t back down and accept a “think-it-over.” Explain that while you’d love to make a deal with them, if they aren’t comfortable saying “yes,” you’ll happily accept their “no” and close their file. Let them know that if they still need to think about it, after all you’ve discussed, you have to assume that, in their mind, it really isn’t a good fit. We call this “going for the no.”

You don’t want to sound arrogant and you don’t want to act tough. The wrong tone will sound like sour grapes. Be sincere and nurturing, but be firm. The best part of “going for no” is that your prospects will never feel threatened or manipulated into doing something they don’t want to do.

Now, before you sound the alarm, let me quell a few fears. I know that you don’t really want a “no” from your prospect. That’s the best part of “going for the no.” You rarely get it. When you “go for the no,” one of two things will happen. A prospect who isn’t really interested in selling will admit it’s over, thereby freeing up your time to spend with prospects that are truly interested. That’s not a bad thing. It saves you the time and aggravation of chasing a dead deal.

However, prospects that are interested but still aren’t convinced will not want you to go away. By “going for the no,” you will shake out the hidden concerns and obstacles preventing the sale. Once these concerns are out in the open, you can discuss them and give your prospect another opportunity to make a final decision.

“Going for the no” is designed to uncover the truth. When you push for a “yes,” you put pressure on your prospects. You encourage them to lie to you. Sometimes they lie to avoid hurting your feelings. Sometimes they lie in order to get rid of you. Sometimes they lie because they are afraid of you.

This fear is justified. Salespeople that sell to consumers in their homes have been taught that they shouldn’t leave until they get the sale. Sometimes the only way to get rid of a salesperson in these situations is to give in to the salesperson’s high pressure demands to buy. It’s the reason why most states have enacted legislation that gives a consumer three days after signing a contract to back out of a deal.

Don’t be afraid of “going for the no.” While most salespeople say they would like to hear the truth, in reality “they can’t handle the truth” when it means they aren’t going to win. Weak salespeople would rather hang on to a familiar prospect long after a deal is dead rather than pursue a stranger who might actually buy. Don’t let your fear of rejection or need for approval get in the way.

Successful salespeople are never afraid of a “no.” They have plenty of other deals in their pipeline to work on. They understand that for every deal that doesn’t close they are one step closer to reaching a deal that does. By getting rid of the deadwood in their pipeline they have more time to focus on opportunities that are likely to result in sales.

By the way, when you get a “no,” be sure to clarify whether it is a “no forever” or a “no for now.” Just because a prospect isn’t qualified today doesn’t mean they won’t be qualified in the future. Ask your prospect if they want to hear from you again. If they do, ask them what needs to change for it to make sense to revisit this issue with them at a later date and when it would be appropriate for you to follow up. Ask if they would like to stay on your mailing list, so you can continue to send relevant articles and information on the problems you’ve solved for other individuals like them. Just because they aren’t ready to sell today, doesn’t mean they won’t be ready to sell someday.