pushover vs reasonable

[Jennifer Lee]

hi BP

I've been thinking about this.

Is there a difference being a pushover and being reasonable? 

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Ex. Negotiating deals, if you are seller or represent leasor, Buyer/tenant is getting all his terms met. The seller gave in or sees buyers point as reasonable..but all in all still net gain.  

Ex my restaurant lease, nego and build out was a pain. Tenant got everything they wanted. But now her business is viable, her food is good and she is a great tenant. Pays on time etc., easy landlording and cash flow.

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Ex. Property management, good record tenant has a bad month. 

My personal example. My tenant lost job. Single mom 5 kids, dead of winter. She fell behind. We worked out biweekly Payment. I see her truely trying, She is now only behind 1 month. And got a job now.  If i had thrown her out in Nov....

My peers advice was evict then. Zero tolerance.

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Ex dealing with contractors, vendors.

My contractor is like most GC, but does good work, reliable and follows through. Having worked with him for 2 years, I find project that I can do with his antics. Through the years he straighten up bc he reliazed as long as he is reasonable and meets my deadline. He gets my next project.

Yes I can find someone cheaper, but that's a roulette.  I net positive even with his price, and he is reasonable.

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I spoke to my plumber yesterday, he said he is grateful we work together. We had a situation over the winter holiday. Xmas new yr, I was away. I needed a solution. And he provided. My level headness and calmness didn't make him mad. We resolved it 2 months later... And he charges me a very reasonable rate. No holiday emergency rates.

He said most ppl would have sued him. I said I need solutions and we both were troubleshooting. And eventually did.

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My partner in crime is my husband. Being a surgeon. He is very cutthroat. Not business minded. Cut it off is his solution.

I'm non-confrontational. And have high empathy and tolerance... Therefore pushover hahaha.

I'm glad I'm the face of our establishment hahaha.. Otherwise many unhappy contractors, deals down the drain etc.

I think my husband's personality helps me not to be a pushover.. But if I was in it on my own.. I may be.. Lol. 

Reason for post: I have a client and she has my husbands personality. And her REI is so difficult. Firing vendors, getting cheated bc of tempers flaring and looking for cheapest way. Evicting left and right. Pissing fsbos off. She also calls me pushover.

[Lynn McGeein]

I'm not exactly sure that any of your examples define a "pushover."   Maybe the plumber one as you don't say what the issue was but that he said you could have sued him, so that sounds to me like I'd be searching for a better plumber, but, even so, you worked it out without legal fees and hassles of court, so even there, it seems more pragmatic than pushover.  As far as staying with a contractor that may charge a bit more but you know gets the job done right, that's not a "pushover," it's good business, building a team that you can rely on.   As far as the lady in the dead of winter, not only would it likely take months to evict but finding a new tenant in winter is usually harder, so giving her some leeway when you know you're signing up for problems if she leaves, anyway, isn't being a pushover as much as wanting to avoid your own headaches in the middle of winter.  

If aggressive people who would rather fight battles instead of focus on winning wars think you are a pushover, let them think it, but it sounds like you are making money with a supportive team while reducing stress in your life by choosing smart solutions that seem to be win-win.   If, however, you are losing money and making this a personal charity instead of running a business and people are pointing it out, then re-evaluate.