Building callouses; having a think skin

[Account Closed]

Two recent discussions made me thing of the following. First, a definition.

callus |ˈkaləs| (also callous)

noun
a thickened and hardened part of the skin or soft tissue, esp. in an area that has been subjected to friction.

RE investing is not for the timid or for the overly sensitive. Many reasons.

One is you are dealing with money. Money causes strong emotions to surface.

Two but still in the money category. RE investing can provide you with full time income from less than full time work. It can take someone who made a number of wrong turns in life and leave them with a lifestyle that is even better than those who choose more wisely in school and on the job.

Three Motivate sellers are motivated for a reason. In some cases that reason has them upset or otherwise not on their best behavior. Stuff is happening in their lives and some RE investors has shown up to 'help'. The medicine they seller needs might not be the medicine the seller is prepared to take.

Four. Tenants are not always on top of their game. They want you the landlord to do things that you would rather they just did for themselves. Or they are really on top of their game and they know you are a lamb being led to slaughter. They are sharpening their knives.

Five. The public assumes that investors and landlords have deep pockets. You can afford the odd lawsuit or other sorts of threats. Or the building inspector was in a rush so they just red tagged something rather than take a minute to find out if it can be repaired. Or the weather knows you have the roof torn off so it is time for the 100 year flood to come rushing down from the sky.

Six. Someone says someone says something that you find impolite, too direct, harsh or otherwise not how things are done where you come from. RE investing is about dealing with people and we all have a strengths and weaknesses when dealing with others. Some of the time you have a bad day, someone is too direct or you are too direct, etc. Or you get one too many dumb questions or dumb answers so you lose it a bit. Or they lose it a bit. As RE investing can reward people rather well some folks who did not learn social skills growing up still do well so you have to engage them. The grump old seller who happens to have 50 houses you could buy if you just could make friends comes to mind.

[b]What have I learned?
[/b]
Ultimately success in RE investing is about dealing with people while keeping a very close eye on the numbers. You can do very well if you only watch the numbers. You will get almost no where if you are just good with people. You do best when you can win friends and influence people and know your numbers. No one has time to make everyone happy so do not expect honey all the time. Bottom line: If you have to error on one side or the other focus on the numbers.

Some caution: You need to develop callouses and have a think skin. Crawling through the physical or emotional muck, dealing with people who are blunt, vendors or tenants who do not follow through comes with the territory. It will wear you out if you do not stand your ground.

The next time you think something is rude or offensive remember your goals. You do write down your goals, correct? The money and the choices money can buy are worth the odd curt conversation or grumpy old man who might already be where you are trying to get to.

Tenants might be testing you with their behavior. Learning where the rules really are vs. what some form says. Do not let your thin skin or weak backbone let them impose their rules on your property.

I am in the process of buying a small portfolio mostly because the owner was inexperienced dealing with tenants. Over a short period of time the investor build a nice portfolio and now has lost everything (ample equity, cash flow, credit, 2 years of hard work). The tenants had thinker skin then the investor. They turned up the friction and the investor folded up shop.

:cry: Sad to see the investor's dreams washed down the drain. Even worse to know that there is a family that has been made to suffer because the investor was too nice (their words). In this case hiring out the management would have been a lot better than just caving into tenant pressure.

Build callouses. Those who are thin skinned are better off sticking to a day job. Being the boss of your own company can be hard work and emotionally a bit too much if you are overly sensitive.

Good hunting. :shoot:

John Corey