Where I am vs. Where I want to be

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I'm gonna spill it all out here. I'm getting a little frustrated, not knowing which direction to go, wondering if I've taken the wrong path in my real estate career. I'm hoping someone could help get me pointed in the right direction.

I've been wanting to get into real estate, basically, all my life. I remember when I was about 4 years old, I used a blue crayon and a yellow piece of construction paper to draw out a scaled floorplan of our house. I actually went around the house with a tape measure to make sure everything was right. Then I started coming up with ways to add on to the house, and rearrange the floorplan so it worked better for us. I drew out the modifications and cut them out so I could place them neatly on top of the original. I spent all day doing this, and when i showed my parents, they were shocked.

Years later, I graduated high school and decided to I wanted to be an architect. After talking to a few practicing architects, I realized I would be spending most of my time behind a computer on a CAD program with someone breathing down my neck to meet a deadline. I left the program.

I tried a few other things since then, but I knew all along that real estate was my thing, so I took some classes, got my license, and joined Century 21. After a few weeks, my broker realized I wasn't cut out to sell residential property since I was mainly interested in the financial situation of the home instead of the emotional feel of it, so he sent me to the commercial division.

Here's where I am now... a commercial realtor in a primarily residential firm, struggling to get commercial listings (got a couple in the works, but it's taking forever) and no client base to speak of. I'm sure I'm in a position that gives me tons of room for improvement, but keep in mind, I'm driven by results.

My ultimate goal is to be able to track down a deal, come up with a plan for the property, oversee/participate in making that plan come together, then see the finished product. That's my satisfaction. When I get paid, that's my reward.

Sounds like rehabbing is the thing for me, right? Well, the problem is my funds are limited since I'm living off of my savings account right now, and due to my self employment and the new rules lenders have come up with, i'm having trouble getting a loan, even on a home to live in! Otherwise, I'd go out and start doing it right now. I've got the construction know how, i've got the design ability, I know the market...

Everything I've read says to start with wholesaling, but as a licensed agent, that's a problem for me. If I find a good deal on a foreclosure (for example), I have to list it, and when it sells, I may only get a few hundred dollars due to the low price of it, which is stressful. it'd take me forever to save up enough to start rehabbing.

If you've read this far, thank you very much. It's late, I'm stressed and I can't sleep, so i'm rambling. i wanna do something about this, and this is the best resource I've found so far to find help! So given my situation, what would be the best solution for me?