My Birthday

[Mike McKinzie]

I turn 50 on Monday, so my work threw a little party for me today. I have to share what birthday card they gave me. Remember, I work for a Non Profit that thinks Obama is too Conservative.

My card states on the outside "The Democrats took your birthday cake!"

The inside says "They sliced it up and gave it to people who aren't fortunate enough to have a birthday today."

I thought you might all get a chuckle out of that!

[Bill Gulley]

Well Happy Birthday! You are now entering maturity. To get use to it, I suggest you start going to bed a 9:00 pm, awaking at 4:00 am and just get up because you won't be able to go back to sleep. You'll begin having pains where you really never had them before, especially in you a$$. Mainly because you will soon be known as a know it all by the younger generations. You'll begin telling stories that begin.."When I was your age"...

If you have hair, it will begin to gray, from the top down, so you have another ten years before you'll be totally embarrased if the lights are on. When young women look at you, just remember, you remind them of their father or a dead relative, they aren't flirting with you! Check with your doctor for Viagra, if it works for more than four hours, call everyone know!

Start making plans now, visit the nursing homes and check into the activities and ask the residents about the food! Save now for the mdeical supplies you'll soon be needing too, bed pans, walkers and oxygen rentals can be set up much like a lease purchase. If you don't wear glasses yet, you probably will. You can start collecting eyeglass cases in decorator styles.

No more Hawian shirts without wearing white socks and sandles either, you need to start dressing the part! And you'll need to plan on selling that SUV or pickup and get a smaller car that's easier to get into, not a Miata either as they are hard to get out of!

Well, you'll adjust.....Happy Birthday! Bill