Advice about new college student lifestyle

[Jane S.]

My granddaughter, Eve (not her name) just started her first semester at CU Boulder. She's really stressed out. I've never seen her so distracted and hyper. One reason is her heavy course load. Also she shares a small room with a roommate, the room is smaller than her bedroom at home, and stuffed full with belongings. When her mom and I were visiting one afternoon, the roomie showed up with a male f**kbuddy and they went to the roomies bed and started shamelessly carrying on, in spite of the fact that there were 2 adults in the room. It was sickening.

I'm positive that when Eve agreed to room with this gal they did NOT discuss having daytime/overnight/male guests and what the considerations for privacy and decent behavior would be . I got no answer from the so called security division of the college. They said Eve should talk to the Hall Director if "she is uncomfortable" and consider changing her room, they can do this until December. Apparently the College is NOT in loco parentis when it comes to horrible lifestyle choices. Who knows how many guys are gonna be invited to sleep over with this roomate, who could be picking them up on the street, there is no control over who goes into the dorm as long as someone has the main door key or manages to slip in when others exit ...

Eve did not know this gal before deciding to room with her. Eve's major is music and they've been told they need to practice 3-4 hours a day. Plus she signed up for choir, which is a big time commitment. The practice rooms are very hard to get into so Eve's having her keyboard moved into the room, there is a very small space for it. I think she needs to be in a single room if there is one available, and needs to admit that she's not going to be able to focus and progress with a roommate like the one I encountered when I was there. 

Eve went through sorority rushing but I have no idea if they would permit or disallow males in the girls rooms. If she joins a sorority she doesnt have to move in, I dont know where the houses are but certainly not on campus. Maybe that's the answer to avoiding losing sleep because people 8 feet away are having sex.

So parents of college girls what has been your experience? I know I need to have a long talk with Eve and a separate talk with her dad. I dont think hes quite in the picture on this. Neither of her parents drink or smoke or do drugs so Eve has no experience with that.

Hope I can get some sleep now. Thanks in advance for your help.