Guest calls to remember from summer 2021

[Collin Hays]

I had a zoom call yesterday with my manager and a member of our housekeeping team.  We kind of got off topic and started talking about the "calls to remember" from this past summer.  Here are a few:

- "Dryer is smelling terrible". Like so bad the entire house smells. Maintenance goes out and finds that a large snake found it's way into the dryer via the outside vent.  Dryer ruined. Quick trip to Lowe's to get a new dryer.  

- "Pool table crashed on my husband's foot and he's at the ER."  We go out immediately, and it turns out the guests decided to MOVE the slate top table.  Note to self...   

- "We've got bed bugs."  Uh oh.  That turned out to be legit.  Lost a week of rent and a $2000 remediation.  But the pest control folks got right on it.

"Child got stung by 3 wasps."  True story.  We go out and find that a wasp nest has begun building literally on the bottom part of the seat of a child's wooden rocking chair.   

"Snake under hot tub."  Well yes, there are snakes under EVERY hot tub.  Hot tubs are the perfect place for mice to build nests and reproduce.  And don't even think you're keeping them out.  So here comes the snakes.  We replaced one old hot tub and the fellow that came and hauled away the old one said he got it back to his shop and it was "full of snakes."

"Wood pecker keeps pecking in the cabin."  We dispatch to check it out.  Seems carpenter bees have found a home in the soffit, and begun laying their larvae.  Well, the woodpeckers then hear the buzzing of the larvae and start pecking to get their lunch.  Exterminator, plugged carpenter bee holes, problem resolved.

"Squirrel in chimney".  This one is really sad.  Most new chimneys are double-walled insulated pipe.  Somehow, a squirrel came down the chimney and is wedged between those walls.  Like 25 feet down, close to the damper.  It's mostly bad news:  Short of tearing out the chimney, there's no way to rescue him.  He will die a slow death, probably taking a few days.  Good news is he won't stink, as he's in between those walls of the seamless pipe.  

"Ceiling has collapsed on us."  The nightmare call.  The one where you immediately call your insurance company.  Except when we go out, we find that the ceiling is just fine - a couple of pieces of the popcorn (popcorn ceiling) have fallen off.  False alarm.

There are more.  Many more.  But I'm done enough typing for today.

[Bruce Woodruff]

Good ones! My most notables: 

1) getting a text from a young lady celebrating her honeymoon. The text said - "Your house has ants". I replied that was odd because we had never had that issue before nor any complaints about bugs. Turns out they had left their wedding cake out on the kitchen counter, and guess what? Ants all over! Cleaned everything , sprayed inside and out, scattered bait outside....problem solved.

2) we state in the description that our place is less than a mile from downtown, and an easy walk or Uber ride. The complaint said that "it was not an easy walk, because my wife has bad knees"

3) a weird one was that "your floors undulate, and it's hard to walk". We just have old oak hardwood floors, nothing special about them......could the undulating have been caused by adult beverages?

Gotta love the guests!