current tenant wants to move into a different home

[Frank Billman]

I currently have a couple who rent a 2br 1 bath unit for $1200 from me. They're always late but manage to pay the rent. They recently had a child and were looking to move as they wanted a 3 br sfh. I gave an associate in the REIA I belong to their info in hopes he would find another unit for them. He then informed them that I have a rental coming up. I forgot to mention to him that I was trying to lose them as a tenant. Anyway they keep asking me about renting this current unit which I will be asking $1400. I really would like to move on from them, I think. Not only would the rent increase they would also be responsible for the water/waste removal. Looking for some advice and guidance...

[Jim K.]

@Frank Billman

Time to bite the bullet and man up, Frank.

Tell the old tenants in the 2br you have cancer and only a few months to live so you're not renewing their lease and have already negotiated the sale of the unit to someone else, as you are not expected to live much past the end of the lease. Once you get new tenants into the 3br, reveal the same daunting prognosis to them and explain to them that the management of their lease will last until next year through a third-party arrangement although you are of course expected to kick the bucket before then.

Should the old tenants contact the new tenants and hear this story, the old tenants may contact you and ask you about it. In this eventuality, explain to them that the (cockamamie) arrangement you've set up with the new tenants is the only way to circumvent some obscure death benefit issue/provision in your specific life insurance policy language for payouts. Keep it shady, everyone knows that insurance companies will go to any lengths and make policyholders jump through bizarre hoops to avoid paying out a full benefit. Besides, at this point you can claim you're heavily medicated and your mind is not so clear.

Bid the old tenants goodbye from your deathbed, if they create trouble leaving ask them piteously over the phone, your voice quavering, how they could possibly treat a man so near his end with such callousness and could they please make extra sure they take away ALL their crap and you'll put in a good word for them with the Maker upstairs.

Once the old tenants are safely gone, you'll experience a miraculous remission thanks to a new drug trial you just got on in time and explain to your new tenants in the 3 br that all is peachy for the long haul as you show potential new tenants the 2br.