Notifying lender of intent to let primary home

[Emily Chen]

Hello,

Complicated situation here and long story. I am in a long term relationship with an abusive person. Last August I secretly was able to pull off the purchase of a condo that would be my escape route. I have kids and multiple rescue pets so rentals were not really an option. So, I found a magnificent lender and explained my situation. They were able to not only get me qualified but walk me through the entire transaction electronically so that not a single piece of correspondence ever came near my current home. I told them at the time that I wanted to move into the home, but I could not guarantee when that would be. I put 40% down. Although I have an 800 credit score, we had to accept a higher rate because my co-signer (my mom) has a score in the lower 600s. So, I have a 60% LTV combined with a bit of a higher than typical rate. We had to write the loan as a owner occupied because it was literally paper thin margins to get me approved. Although I'm not there right now, I am THRILLED. I have my sanctuary. It is a dream come true.

Well, it turns out that I am not ready to move over there. My son has just begun therapy and his school is in the process of testing him for hopefully putting him into a more advanced inclusive classroom (disabilities). To move him to a new district right now would kill his progress. He matters to me a lot more than I matter to me, so I don't want to move him yet. So, I would like to rent out the sanctuary until the time comes that we are ready to make our escape. I have been paying for it so far, and we are keeping up with the costs and even paying additional dollars to principal every month.

I am preparing to contact the lender to tell them what is going on and I am terrified of what will happen. This home will be my sanctuary, and will be my retirement home. It's the only security I have and I don't want to lose it. Prior to the purchase, I asked the broker who helped me to pull off this feat, and he told me that if I put someone in the home prior to expiration of the one year occupancy clause, that I should not put anything in writing. I just want to be honest and disclose to the lender what the situation is, and I fear that they will take the home away from me. How likely is that to happen? I could easily market it today and sell. I can also continue making the payments and just carry the weight of the extra debt load I have with two homes right now. My specific question is just this, honestly, will they take the home away from me? That's what I want to avoid. I couldn't care less about fines, refinancing, etc. I just don't want to lose the home.

Any thoughts?