What are your best "Special Stipulations" for leases?

[Jack Tucker]

Over the years of landlording and owning property in a college town, I have noticed that my Special Stipulations section in my leases have taken on some strange phrases and warnings to new tenants. It seems that each lesson (at times both painful and humorous) has been memorialized into subsequent contracts. From warnings about new pets... to being adults and getting along with roommates... to undrivable cars on blocks...

What are you favorite Special Stips? Feel free to paste them directly from your contracts, and our imaginations can fill in the blanks. This should be good!