Another interesting post from an existing tenant. Oy, vey!

[Nathan Gesner]

Just received this email from a tenant: 

Hi, I am writing to let you know that a friend of mine has been staying with me. He was living with his Mother and she was growing tired so he came to live with me. He broke his arm a couple of months ago and is unemployed, but I don't have the resources for two people anymore and I need some relief now. He has coerced me into buying over $250 worth of Vodka for him over the months and I want him to be evicted (I apologize for not telling you about him). I know it's a mess but I just want peace and quiet, and maybe a cat too, as the other 2 never worked out either... God have mercy haha Anyways please help me with this and also I want to move next door if I am not bound by my lease to this apartment, as the Kitchen and Bathroom are much better for my needs. Thanks!

These guys should be comedians.

[Caroline Gerardo]

Dear Stray Cats:

I also dated Brian Setzer. What time is the next rockabilly boyfriend moving in tonight?

The other apartment is rented by nice people who are allergic to cats and vodka, they are not moving.

Call BF Mom to pick him up when you put out some canned food on the curb.

Please sign the attached agreement to move out.

Sincerely,

Not Stevie Nicks (lol parody)