50 year old step-daughter and kids need a place to live.

Temperance, MI · Member since 2012 · 15 posts · 2 votes

My wife's daughter (50) and her two daughter's (20 & 21) are living with us in a two bedroom apartment. The landlord has become aware and wants the "guests" added to the lease if they qualify. They don't and will be evicted. We're thinking of buying a duplex, live in one side and let them live in the other. We're hoping they'll get jobs, buy their own food and pay the utilities (good luck with that!). We would live in the other unit. Given that we are in our 70's not sure it's a good idea, any suggestions?

0 Reply

36 views

Most Popular Reply

Nathan GesnerBusiness Member

Moderator

Real Estate Broker · Cody, WY · Member since 2010 · 28k+ posts · 41k+ votes

Quote from @Michael Terry:

I must be getting old (or maybe its the Parkinson's), posted on this same topic four years ago and should have taken the advice given. Don't want to put them out the street, have contacted social services but no response yet.

Michael, you're not helping them by supporting them and you're not doing yourself any favors. Three grown adults and they can't support themselves? I have to teens (14 and 15) that are both making almost $2,000 a month working at McDonalds.

They need to be out of your lives. You earned your living and shouldn't be spending your twilight years supporting leaches.

The DIY Landlord Book4.7248 Reviews

Website View Page

6 Reply

See this reply in the discussion

15 Replies

Jump to latestLatest

Sort by

Michael Terry
OP
Temperance, MI · Member since 2012 · 15 posts · 2 votes
4y
I must be getting old (or maybe its the Parkinson's), posted on this same topic four years ago and should have taken the advice given. Don't want to put them out the street, have contacted social services but no response yet.
0 Reply
Nathan GesnerBusiness Member
Moderator
Real Estate Broker · Cody, WY · Member since 2010 · 28k+ posts · 41k+ votes
4y
Quote from @Michael Terry:

I must be getting old (or maybe its the Parkinson's), posted on this same topic four years ago and should have taken the advice given. Don't want to put them out the street, have contacted social services but no response yet.

Michael, you're not helping them by supporting them and you're not doing yourself any favors. Three grown adults and they can't support themselves? I have to teens (14 and 15) that are both making almost $2,000 a month working at McDonalds.
They need to be out of your lives. You earned your living and shouldn't be spending your twilight years supporting leaches.
The DIY Landlord Book4.7248 Reviews
Website View Page
6 Reply
Theresa HarrisPro Member
Member since 2019 · 15k+ posts · 11k+ votes
4y
If you had the same problem 4 years ago, your step daughter hasn't learned. I'd be reluctant to buy a place and rent it to them as from what little you wrote (no jobs, not paying for anything), they won't pay. If you want to buy a house for you, go for it. I'd rent the other half to a tenant that pays, not your stepdaughter and her adult kids. Tell your stepdaughter and her girls that they can stay for 1 month until they get on their feet, but that's it. If you were fine with a bit longer, give them terms (MUST have full time jobs, must pay $X a month to cover expenses).
Have a talk with them and tell them they have to get jobs. There are enough jobs out there that there is no excuse for none of them to work. If you are in your 70s, you should not be supporting her and her adult children. Time for tough love.
2 Reply
Scott Mac
Austin, TX · Member since 2019 · 5k+ posts · 5k+ votes
4y
Is there a reason the two girls do not work outside the home.
You are right next to Toledo, Sonic Drive in hires people to roller skate food to their cars, and they get good tips.
City jobs are stable, working in the library, or clerical in the different departments, or a 911 dispatcher, etc...
Why not buy a double wide outside the city line for cheap (if you can get one cheap) and move your family out there.
Not a trailer park, just on a lot somewhere.
Because as you get older you might like having three helpers around to go grocery shopping, watch TV with, cut the grass and rake the yard, drive you to the doctors office when you feel ill--stuff like that.
911 Job (no heavy lifting)--> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpE78whrHNo
Good Luck!
1 Reply
Richard F.
Honolulu, HI · Member since 2008 · 3k+ posts · 2k+ votes
4y
Aloha,
I always recommend to clients that want to "help" their (generally full functioning) adult children or other family members, or even just friends...DON'T RENT TO THEM. Instead, if you want to help them, just send them a check every month, for whatever would be a reasonable rent amount; or set up a bank account that you can deposit/transfer funds to EACH MONTH for them to use. Do not just give/gift them a large lump sum, this will often create even more problems. If you "rent" to them, you will just have more drama and aggravation when they abuse your property through damage, hoarding, general neglect, and bringing their drama home to you.
4 Reply
Steve Olivier C.
Investor · NJ · Member since 2015 · 20 posts · 12 votes
4y
Quote from @Michael Terry:

My wife's daughter (50) and her two daughter's (20 & 21) are living with us in a two bedroom apartment. The landlord has become aware and wants the "guests" added to the lease if they qualify. They don't and will be evicted. We're thinking of buying a duplex, live in one side and let them live in the other. We're hoping they'll get jobs, buy their own food and pay the utilities (good luck with that!). We would live in the other unit. Given that we are in our 70's not sure it's a good idea, any suggestions?

Hi Michael,
For your mentioned property target consideration, it can be seen in nearby Monroe the following example online for publicly listed duplex + office, that is estimated after expenses and mortgage payment to be net monthly gain (~$300/month) if you can get a lender mortgage with 15% downpayment owner-occupied 30 years fixed-rate loan to purchase (~$30,658 out-of-pocket from you to buy, including closing costs)
If it looks like the type of case you would want to check further, let me know I will be happy to connect to share more details for this case or others.
Good luck with your search!
Steve Olivier
1 Reply
Scott Mac
Austin, TX · Member since 2019 · 5k+ posts · 5k+ votes
4y
If you bought a building like that, you have another option than renting the commercial part out.

You have 4 females under your roof.

Maybe they could open their own hair salon in that front shop.

Or turn it into a Detroit Coney Dog place, or a homade ice cream place.

Who knows, they might make a fortune.

Good Luck!

https://www.mlive.com/life-and-culture/g66l-2019/04/457bafdfac1842/michigans-best-coney-dog-2019-top-10-list.html
0 Reply
Joel W.
Portland, OR · Member since 2019 · 45 posts · 32 votes
4y
This sounds like a bad Dave Ramsey call. Haha. Watch some of his shows and you'll get an idea of what you need to do. Or call his show.
1 Reply
Donna M.
Member since 2020 · 81 posts · 73 votes
4y
They can work in any restaurant and make a living. Cleaning landlords properties when tenants move out, etc.
Start collecting rent from them every month and soon they may be able to move out.
0 Reply
Henry T.
Member since 2022 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes
4y
Its not unusual for older kids to still be living with their parents, these days.
If they're not in college getting straight A's, there's no excuse.
My neighbor has a 30 year old, and a 40 year old still living with them. But, they contribute and pull their weight.
Leave your apt and get a studio for just you and your wife.
Stay and offer your landlord $200 or $300 more a month to let you stay. He's probably paying that for the extra water/sewer bill.
Have a sit down and tell the girls to get jobs tomorrow, contribute some $$, or its over.
I had a tenant with the same problem. She packed her bags, went to the other side of the country, and left everyone.
0 Reply
Jonathan R McLaughlin
Rental Property Investor · Boston, Massachusetts (MA) · Member since 2016 · 2k+ posts · 2k+ votes
4y
real estate components of this plan? Solid.
Family components of this plan? Disaster.
0 Reply
Curtis Mears
Property Manager · Raleigh, NC · Member since 2014 · 728 posts · 596 votes
4y
@Michael Terry
Every business near me is desperate to hire. Are all 3 working and still do not qualify? Personally, I would not make a purchase to help them. I would buy a property if I needed or wanted it.
0 Reply
Michael Terry
OP
Temperance, MI · Member since 2012 · 15 posts · 2 votes
4y
Thankyou everyone for your comments. Our landlord did raise the rent by $200 for not signing the lease (we pay for utilities). We need to find a place for just the two us that we want to live in, tired of moving and need to settle down. The girls need to find jobs and learn how to budget their income, Dave Ramsey would be great if he could get them to listen and followthrough. It's going to be a challenge.
2 Reply
Patti RobertsonBusiness Member
Property Manager · Virginia Beach, VA · Member since 2016 · 2k+ posts · 2k+ votes
4y
Oh, @Michael Terry, this is heartbreaking. Heartbreaking that three able bodied adults are guilting you into letting them freeload. You and your wife are literally violating your lease and putting yourself at risk of eviction. Decent family members don't do that to each other. The longer the 20 & 21 year old live with the lazy, entitled 50 year old mom, the lower their chances of breaking the mold. You need to throw them all out of the nest and teach them to fly. If the only way to make that happen is for you and your wife to move out, do that, but these freeloaders will likely stay behind and cause you to end up with a judgment and eviction on your record. Sign a couple of year lease on your new place to ensure you will have time to get the inevitable judgment from your current landlord paid off by the time you want to move again. It's not an ideal situation, but this solution would minimize your losses and give the young adults their best chance of figuring out how to live a decent life as self supporting humans.
757-472-2547
0 Reply
Michael Terry
OP
Temperance, MI · Member since 2012 · 15 posts · 2 votes
4y
Thank you!
0 Reply

Join the conversationCreate a free account to reply, vote on answers and follow this thread.