Co-living house and tenant not getting along with other residents

[Carlos Lez]

I run co-living houses in San Jose CA. I have 3 students living in 3 different rooms of a SF house. Bathrooms and kitchen are shared.

One tenant writes :A confrontation occurred because I kindly asked a roommate to clear her dishes out of the sink so I would avoid contact with them as I was exposed to covid 19 and did not want to cross contaminate her dishes and I was told that since I was exposed to covid 19 that I am not allowed to use kitchen or bathroom. I am very angered because I pay to use the kitchen and restroom and I don’t know how I’m expected to live without using using the kitchen and bathrooms and utilities. If this continues to persist, I will not be able to live here and I would need my security deposit back. This is completely ridiculous and I was just stripped of using utilities here. I am pretty sure it is illegal for me not to be allowed to use the restroom and kitchen when I pay to use the restroom and kitchen"

This is all that I have from her in an email. Could someone help me respond to this? Given the COVID situation I am uncertain of how a landlord can/should get involved with this.

Thanks in advance for any advice.

[Ron Brady]

Challenging.  My wife and I also manage some co-living homes.  A few thoughts:

1. I can understand the perspectives of both housemates. COVID can be deadly and every person needs to use the kitchen and bathroom.

2. Bathroom(s). Early on in the pandemic when we had our adult children living with us, whenever anyone was exposed to COVID our expectation was that the exposed person used one bathroom during a quasi-quarantine period while everyone else used other bathrooms in the home.  If the home has more than one bathroom, this approach would, in our view, be very reasonable.  We would, as the owners, convene a house meeting, via zoom, talk through things and get to a point where this would be the outcome.  We'd work to achieve it via consensus, but would force the issue in the end if we needed to.  If there was only one bathroom in the residence... see below.

3. Kitchen. Again, returning to our adult children analogy, we also limited the exposed person to his/her room or going outside for walks. We then, as a family, brought food, drinks, etc. to the person using paper goods to limit their contact with us.  This is a bit harder in a housemate situation.  We would, as landlords, come out of pocket for paper goods and, in the house meeting above, negotiate a similar outcome.  With doordash, instacrt and the like, it is easier today to supply someone in their own room for 10-14 days than in the past.

All of the above however, is based on two things:

1. We have house meetings when new housemates join homes to establish common expectations, e.g. who stores what where, can shoes be worn in the house, quiet times, etc. Thus, our residents are accustomed to us playing the role of house facilitator.  While challenging, my wife is really good at this and we've determined that it is the price we pay for the higher cash flow that comes from a by-the-room model.

2. Housemates inherently accept the concept that the money they save with communal living carries with it some communal living obligations.  By the way, the tone of the note of the housemate immediately suggests to me that a) he/she was having a bad moment or b) that he/she may not quite embrace the communal living idea.  When we get those moments, and we do, my wife listens empathetically with and talks candidly to the offending person, outlines expectations and reminds them that so long as they give us 60 days notice, they can get out of their lease.  This carrot and stick conversation tends to work most of the time.  My wife used to be a high school and middle school disciplinarian!

Last thought.  If there is only one bathroom, all of the above doesn't work.  Candidly, I don't have a clue what we'd do in that situation, except to refer back to my sense that this resident's note may indicate a poor fit for communal living and thus someone who may indeed seek to live by themself elsewhere.

All my two cents on a tough challenge.  Hope its helpful food for thought.