When is living with parents too much?

Question

I want to start a discussion about millennials living with their parents. In the past, once people graduated high school/college they moved out and it was socially embarrassing living with your parents. Now times have changed.

I think we can all agree millennials who live with their parents to save up for their financial future is a great idea. Paying off loans or saving up for an investment property are great ways to set up for the future.

However, how long is living with your parents too much of a burden/socially acceptable?

1) What is the age of the parents?

2) What is the age of the millennial?

Let me know what you think!

Dell J. · Answer

I lived with parents until 35. I used to hear comments. Thirties is not socially acceptable but it is still worth it anyways.   Especially if you invest what you save.

I don't think there is a right or wrong here.

Ty Head · Answer

Hello everyone, My first response on BP. I set out to change the next generations steps. A lot of my immediate family don’t own homes, I wanted to change that with my children.

Step One: Gave them a taste of entrepreneurship (rite of passage stuff) they cut grass, shoveled snow (as a group) Team work

Then my wife an I let them try their own ideas out on the world. One began selling custom flip flops, (bought their own material with money saved), Another who was always encouraged with a camera, attempted to take pics for young people proms, birthdays etc.

Then they helped me with a former biz of cleaning up HUD properties during the housing crisis on early 2000’s.

Next, but not all of the details for sake of my response. I gave them choices while they were still at home.

Go to school and finish “ No Quitting” One went to college and graduated, with no debt because they worked all through college and applied to enough scholarships to make your head spin.

One left home early and found consistent employment currently a young supervisor( now married with kids)

The last one stayed home like first one got a trade in the electrical field (graduated).

Then I told them no outside debt, you are getting houses. We showed how to build tradelines  for their credit.

They each have one credit card each, one has a car loan.

They now after some time have 740 + credit.

We are now looking to house hack as a family.

Goal for right now 10 properties each. Oh and we play cash flow the game once or twice a month.

We regularly talk about properties they have found...No houses 🏠  yet but with patience and diligence it is going to happen soon.

JD Martin · Answer

This is largely a cultural question. In some cultures you stay with your parents until you are married, or that culture's equivalent of married. That crosses geographic boundary lines so it's not reserved for out of the US. In others you are expected to be offloaded as soon as you are "of age". And then, turning it around, in many cultures once a parent is widowed or unable to live independently they move back in with their children.

So I'm not sure there's any good answer. I know I wouldn't want my kids or my parents living with me, but I don't want anyone living with me outside of my wife and my dog 😜

So I'm not sure there's any good answer. I know I wouldn't want my kids or my parents living with me, but I don't want anyone living with me outside of my wife and my dog 😜

Jonathan McKenna · Answer

I'm 5 years late to this post but I'm hoping I get lucky and somebody responds.

As someone who is also interested in investing in real estate, I absolutely see the logic behind living with your parents to save money for your first property. I'm doing that right now as a 23-year-old who is a year out of college.

However, I've recently began to question what I might be missing out on by not moving out to live on my own. Could I be stunting my growth as a person by not changing my environment and forcing myself to adapt? If I moved away from home and put myself in a new town where I had no connections and nothing to rely on but my own resources and skills, would that help me achieve a level of wisdom that I wouldn't have gotten living with my parents? Or develop moneymaking skills I didn't know I had in me because I had to push myself?

I'm trying to live like no one else so I can live like no one else, but I wonder if I'm actually being killed by comfort. What does the BP community think one can "miss out on" by living at home to save money?

Johnnie Bembry · Answer

I think as Americans, we put too much emphasis on moving out/being on your own. For example, it's not uncommon to see a whole Asian family live together for a long time and essentially using group economics to start up family run businesses. Meanwhile, we Americans expect to move out/our children to move out at 18 and they/we are broke with nothing at that age when we could live with our parents and save money for a future investment. But to answer your question, I'm cool with my daughter living with me until she's around 30. This should give her more than enough time to earn a degree (or two), secure a nice job, save money, and have money for an investment.

Russell Brazil · Answer

Im right on the cusp of of being the oldest millenials or youngest gen x, so my answer might be influenced by my age.....I think once you are done with high school, you should be out the door and learning to stand on your own two feet.

Ty Head · Answer

Hey, Good for you Monica.

"It's not how your start the game but how you finish", I believe this holds true for so many things in life.

Cheers, to much success!

Monica P. · Answer

I lived at home until I was a week away from my 26th birthday. Whenever people would ask me where I lived, I’d say “with my parents.” And they’d ALWAYS respond with “oh man, I wish I could do that. You’re lucky.”

And I wasn’t a bum as I have been working since I was 16 and going to school.

The exception is one guy I remember telling me I was a loser and how much “further along in life” he was than me because he had bought a house, bought a car and was going to school.”

I have no idea how/what he’s doing now but I have two degrees, excellent job, no student debt, car paid off, I live rent-free with my boyfriend, have cash in the bank and am looking for my first rental property. :)

Tyler Y. · Answer

I know that I'm necro'ing a 5 year old post but it is just SO GOOD and it had zero upvotes. This is so important and near-and-dear to me, I had to revive it.

In my opinion, one of the most American things is to take what works from other cultures and apply it to America. This is what has kept America as the leader of the world (or at least always on the cusp of being the leader!)

So when you notice something like this, how kicking your kids out at 18 and telling them to start from scratch and consume and buy all the same stuff you consumed and bought is keeping your family down, and ain't workin', and immigrants with the mentality of pooling their resources together, sticking together, and making due with less seem to have the right idea... Ditch the idea that doesn't work! Do the thing that does work. That is the American way. Learn. Adapt. Overcome. Super important.

Don't let your culture be an anchor that sinks you to the bottom of the ocean and drowns you. If you find yourself in that position, cut the chain! Swim to the surface! Find a better way!

My 2 cents :-)

Jonathan McKenna · Answer

Copy that. I appreciate your insights Theresa!

When is living with parents too much?

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