Irrevocable trust and asset control?

[Aria Drexler]

I will try to keep this concise - I own a duplex in North Carolina outright that is currently in an LLC and got married about a year ago. My husband has been having legal issues due to a vindictive ex, and may need to default on a business note that she took over (railroaded) as part of divorce settlement, for which he is also personally liable and would likely be sued for. I have concerns that she would then try to come after my assets if he files for personal bankruptcy. We do not have any joint accounts and he has no association with the LLC, but I still don't trust she couldn't come after me.

My concern is that since he and I do not own a primary residence, which an LLC is designed to protect, the duplex as my main asset and source of monthly income would be at risk. I have read that an irrevocable trust would protect everything placed into it, but that I would not be able to access the income or other assets. Where I am confused is that my father had 3 properties in an irrevocable trust (in California) and lived on the income and managed his assets as both the grantor and trustee until he passed. I am not sure if this would have voided any protections from creditors he could have had, or if this was allowed in California law, but he did it for years.

I know this is not a legal forum, but I can't find an estate attorney who will take me as a client or answer the question of whether acting as both grantor and trustee can get you around that limitation on a Wyoming trust. The asset protection people I have talked to advised me either to divorce or do an offshore LLC, neither of which I am willing to do. If I designated another trustee to manage the trust, is there a way they could pass the income through? Any tips or referrals appreciated.