Trouble Getting a Mortgage

[Moira Mosley-Duffy]

I have been declined for a mortgage because I don't pay rent. My boyfriend pays our rent (which is high) and my lending bank has told me that they have to consider that I would be paying all of the rent someday, which precludes me from any large loans. I asked if it would be possible to calculate using the average bay area rent of a single person, or even half of our current rent, but they told me that they need to assume I would be paying the total rent. 

Does this seem right/normal? I am wondering if I should just go to another bank and try again or if we should just apply for a joint mortgage. He's not interested in investing in real estate so I'm not super keen on having his name on a mortgage for a building that I have paid the full down payment on and am managing--but, I trust him so maybe it wouldn't be so bad?

Details:

current rent in bay area is $3,000

my salary is around $60,000

have saved $35,000+ for down payment

looking at duplexes and triplexes around ~$150,000-170,000

[Andrew Postell]

@Moira Mosley-Duffy this absolutely sounds like you spoke with a "larger" bank. To me it sounds like you should try a different bank but maybe a smaller bank too.  Large banks have a lot of extra rules.  I might ask in the California forum here on Bigger Pockets who knows of some good banks to use.  That way you can have some local advice.  You might find some good suggestions there.  Hope this helps.