FEEDBACK PLEASE! - Pitch Deck for Private Lending

[Josh Stack]

Good Evening BP,

We are just starting out and hunting for deals now but also starting to try and line up financing. For various reasons while we have a good balance sheet and good credit, we don't have access to traditional financing. That leaves us going down the route of trying to raise private loans and we plan to approach our first circle soon.

I've made a pitch deck for friends, family and acquaintances that we plan to approach to ask if they want to do private lending to us and I would very much like your feedback on the document. It's linked, as well as our one page introduction below.

Specifically, I'd like your feedback on:

- Is it credible to take this approach? much of the initial audience will know nothing about private lending.

- Are there things I have included which I should edit out or things that I have missed which I should include?

- Am I running up to any Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) areas of regulation that I should be careful of?

- Are there things that I clearly don't know about what I'm doing but obviously should?

- If you were a private lender, would this be an enticing initial pitch upon which to have more substantive discussions?

Our one pager introduction on the FilePlace - One Pager

Our private lending pitch deck on the FilePlace - Pitch Deck

As always, we are looking forward to your constructive and insightful feedback.

[Jay Evans]

Josh,

Here is my feedback. No matter what industry you are in or are trying to do there are 4 central pillars that you must convey when dealing with equity investors. Those are 1) viability of the project (does this make sense?), 2) ROI break even point, 3) CV of the person running it (you) and 4) your skin in the game.

That being said, I would focus more at conveying this on your one page sell sheet.  Unfortunately, investors of all kinds are bombarded all the time with all sorts of "deals".  As short, well done, and straight to the point your deck is we live in a world where most of us do not have more than a one minute attention span.  

I sent you a connection request.  If you respond back and send me your e-mail I will send you and example of what I am trying to say above with a more concise one pager. 

Jay