Investing and Marriage: Plan the work, Work the plan

[Meghan McCallum]

I have heard from numerous investors about how their spouse or significant other "just doesn't get it." Has anyone felt the stress on their relationship? What have you done to rectify the situation? Or has it played a part in the demise of said relationship? I'm looking for investors to share what may seem to be a very vulnerable situation. I'm looking to create a dialogue that is raw and vulnerable so that others may more quickly learn from these very personal failures in order to avoid a very long, drawn out, and crippling process of divorce that many of us have already faced, currently face, or may face in our future.

I will start, my marriage is hanging on so by a thread. I have been all consumed with building so much so fast for our future, because I love and want to do my best in providing for my family, that I removed myself from the present. This has caused a painful rift in my marriage and I am sure in my relationship with my children. For the past 18 mos. I have poured myself into being a student of investing as I am now full time, and in doing so remember so little living that I've done. 

I know balance is what everyone says you need, but more than that...I needed to replace my income (which is another long story as to why I left my prior career) as I am and was the primary provider. This all happened around the birth of my 18 month old. 

I'm not looking for pity, sympathy, or to be criticized for the decisions I have made. I shared in order to lead a conversation that makes people very uncomfortable. I don't think its fair to ask other people to be so without doing so myself. I know this is a popular topic in private circles of investors. I just want to bring it to a place that is "front of mind" so that we can all share, learn, and grow together.

Any takers out there???

[Marcia Maynard]

Time Together, Respect, Trust.

When my husband and I get out of sync, we do well to look at our "Roles and Goals" and do our "Weekly Compass" together. We have been inspired, and continue to be so, by the FranklinCovey series.  Just as a business benefits from defining their Mission, Vision and Values, so does a family. Aim for a life well lived.

https://msb.franklincovey.com/inspired/mission_sta...

We would all do well to look at how we are spending our time. I read your BP profile and was amazed at how much you packed into February 2017 and still were offering to mentor others.  At times my desire to help others and mentor others, has been at the expense of having a peaceful breakfast with my husband. 

Social media can be addicting and a time waster, including the time I spend right here on BP on this Real Estate Investing Social Network. But if I recognize it for the value it gives me, educational as well as entertaining, I can fit it in my day more appropriately and not lose sight of my priorities.

My husband and I think differently.... he paints with a big brush and I paint with a delicate brush that takes care of the details. He moves too fast, I move too slow. We are continually learning to balance our strengths and weaknesses. 22 years of marriage. He is my rock and I am his. Most cherished is the time we spend together, even if it's just watching reruns of "Frasier" or cooking a meal together.

This morning, I woke up with a lyric in my head which came to me in a dream. I asked him if he had heard of this lyric before, as he's a professional piano bar entertainer, or is this how songwriters get inspired. He said he had never heard it before, but to write it down and copyright it. :-)

Here it is... perhaps meant to share... "I would rather be with you today with all your faults, than be without you tomorrow with only my memories."

Peace.