Looking for a MFH FHA lender for self employed

[Lucas Sproul]

Here's my situation

I've spoken with three different lenders but seem to be getting a lot of conflicting answers this year with covid and everything.

1. Some have told me Fannie Mae requires 15% down on MFH and doesn't take FHA even if owner occupied (when fha.gov and bigger pockets says otherwise).

2. I'm reading I can do (in 2021 but want to verify) FHA 3.5% down with 580+ credit score, on up for 4 units... considering duplex but is up to 4 units still the case?

3. Six months of mortgage is required to be saved up prior to closing? I'm reading in the forums only three months of PITI is required...

4. 75% of "projected" rent is able to count as income toward DTI?

5. The four requirements for self-employed are A. Last two tax returns B. year-to-date PNL sheet for 2021 C. 60 days personal bank statements D. 90 days business bank statements. I have $75K pre-tax from 2019, and only $45K pre-tax from 2020 during covid (I was told that a 20% drop negatively impacts my chances), with only $5,000 so far for the 2021 year (my work is seasonal and i've been working on other projects [i'm in the solar business] and business is ramping up this summer), my business activity will show $0 for the last 90 days, and personal account will show $4,400/mo the last 60 days (my wife makes $82K/yr pre-tax).

All that said, am I better of going balls to the wall the next 3 months and say I make $10K/mo the next three months and buy in late September to early October, or do I bite the bullet and set my business on the backburner and take on a W2 job as I only need an offer letter & first pay stub (to my understanding), and last 2yrs tax returns?

AZ is a commonwealth state, our mortgage is under my wife's name but we're both on the deed, and her preference is that we alternate every other mortgage, so with the next being a primary residence MFH FHA under my name, albeit I'm self-employed and she's the W2... are there any advantages/disadvantages with this plan (other than her peace of mind)? ie how important is it that the 2nd loan be under name rather than hers? We just refinanced a few months ago and have above 25% equity, no PMI, and never took out an FHA loan (if that matters as I've heard mixed things about only able being able to use it every 3yrs even if it was a spouse). Our goal is to airbnb this house full time since it's in a great market 5min away from the international airport in phoenix, but curious if I should operate it under a "lease contract" to be able to qualify the income toward the next place. Finally, we're considering refi a 2nd time on the current house with what the market's been doing for a cashout refi, (appraised at 250k, but zillow and other lenders show 281k and we only owe 186k) but wondering if we should do 20% or 30% LTV (can either hurt us?) and use the the cash for down payment toward the MFH plus repairs/renovations.

That was a mess, but wanted to get all the variables/goals out there on the table for best understanding of our situation. It's been a lot of confusion and really hard getting the right answers like I said from three different lenders over the past week, so really appreciate any insight the community has to offer :) thanks fam!