I can be a real A-Hole help me mend my ways

[Jeremy Woods]

Let me start off by saying normally I’m funny, easy going and a joy to be around. But when it comes to real estate deals I’m the complete opposite.

Not only am I an agent myself but I purchase mainly out of state rentals so I have to rely on others to get me the necessary information in a timely manner. The other day I put an offer on a 28 unit, in order to get a prequal which of course the seller was demanding right away I needed a rent roll at the minimum for my lender. I asked my agent to get this information for me, three days later I finally received it. I was pissed because in my lenders eyes I look dumb for pushing hard to get a timely prequal when all she needed was a basic piece of information and we took forever to get it to her. Instead of letting it go I ripped my agent who is also my out of state property manager. In retrospect I know he can only go as fast as the seller but something about it just really set me off.

This is just one of many things where I have flown off the handle because I am not in the drivers seat of the situation and felt like I would have handled it better/differently. I feel like as an agent myself I have different expectations for what needs to get done and how I expect them to go. I know that no one will ever do deals like I do personally or manage my properties how I self manage the few that I still do but is my anger for these situations unrealistic. If not how can I be productive in my frustration?

I torn because my agent/property manager is great in so many areas; finding the best price on repairs, smoothing over issues with the city, managing remodels without crazy up charges and managing tough tenants but if I’m going to keep this relationship growing I need either learn to deal with my frustrations or I need to do something different.

Anyone else like me and if so who did you work on it?

[Steve Vaughan]

I saw your title and a few BP members came to mind. Ooh, whose finally feeessing up? LOL Don't worry, you aren't one of them Jeremy.  I can certainly be one as well :)

It's natural to be frustrated when an expectation isn't met. That's the definition of frustrated and it happens in one form or another pretty much every day to every person.  The difference is how we respond to it. 

A lot of us invest in RE specifically because of control. If we didn't need control, we would invest in index funds or something.  The more moving parts outside our control (lenders, agents, sellers, title issues) the more likely we are to feel out of control and frustrated. Duh, right?  The more outside our market we invest, the more moving parts. The more moving parts, the higher likelihood of having missed expectations.  As an out OOS investor, you are in high frustration-ville from go.

I'd just apologize to my awesome PM (especially if he is awesome!) and count to ten next time.  Realize an apathetic LA or seller is likely. Ask yourself if this (insert current missed expectation) will matter in 5 years and have a higher perspective.  

It's normal to feel how you felt. We all have. Thanks for sharing!