The "Why Your Mailing Campaign May Be Ineffective" Thread

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I live in Southwest Denver proper.  The market here is INSANELY STUPID.  I live in 'da hood...seriously, the first week I moved in here, I had my house egged and the "F" word scribbled in ketchup on the back window of my car because the neighbor across the street and two houses over thought I was calling the cops on their parties.  Two weeks later she was thrown in jail for trying to take a gun off the cop responding to her loud party.  I've lived here 26 years (being upside down on the house most of the time).  Over the past couple of years I've received literally thousands of mailers from people wanting to buy my house - everyone from "We Buy Ugly Houses" to "Homevesters" on up.  It's obnoxious....but I think I can make lemonade from lemons.  Every time I get a mailing, I'm going to scan it and post it here with names and addresses redacted (I don't want to promote or put down anyone, and I don't want folks to go out seeking my address and spamming me so they get their name on the forum).  I'm hoping to provide a thread that shows the following...

1) An example of what these letters look like - you decide yourself if a full page letter is more effective than a post card.

2) An example of what a competitive market looks like - you can take that as a form of encouragement or an idea of why you're getting the response (or lack of) you're getting if you do this.

3) An idea of the competition out there doing the same exact thing you are and why or why not mailing campaigns can be ineffective.

4) Provides examples for folks looking to do this and provides an arena for RESPECTFUL constructive criticism.

So here's the first one for the thread - received May 12, 2017.  Manually stamped business envelope with no return address.