A Realtorese to English Translation Dictionary

[Linda Weygant]

After being involved in real estate for a while, it occurred to me the other day when I was talking to my sister that the words you are using may not mean what you think they mean to ordinary people.  

Such as:

Cute = Tiny.  See also cramped.

Retro = Super dated

Turn of the Century = check to see which century.

Country Paradise = Miles from nowhere.  Also, probably has hideous wallpaper.

Urban Paradise = on top of a laundry or restaurant, next to the train tracks

Funky = Weirdest layout you've ever seen

Unique = see Funky

AS-IS = a wreck

Fixer Upper = a real wreck

Sweat Equity = barely standing

Bring Your Tool Belt = Do you have a really talented rehab team?

Perfect for Investors = Nobody else wants it.  Investors are crazy, everybody knows that.

Current tenants want to stay = because their rent is so far below market it will make you cry.

Do Not Disturb Tenants = tenants think they are getting booted out.

What lingo have you heard that doesn't mean what others might think it means?