How to get my wife excited about real estate investing?

Question

Hi all,

My wife and I just purchased our first home, and I'm very excited about looking for rental properties in the area as well ( we bought our first house off MLS with a lot of searching, so in many ways it was our first "deal!)

She's a little reticent as we "just made a huge purchase!" and doesn't want us to get in over our heads. I'm trying to get her into the website, and the podcast, but she's so busy at work, and with our daughter, she doesn't really have the time. (I'm spending my extra time listening)

Any pointers to help her understand? I've been going over my ideas for our first purchase (OWC financing, leaving notes/direct mail for a good deal on a multi unit etc.) and she likes them, but she's not really excited....any help?

Thanks.

Aaron Mazzrillo · Answer

Here is the ultimate answer: open a new account in her name, if you're doing flips deposit 5% of the net on every deal you close. If buying to hold, for every property deposit $25 or so every month. Then tell her it is her share to be spent on whatever she likes. After that first trip to Chanel in Vegas and not having to leave empty handed, she'll be asking you how she can help you find more deals. My wife got so excited about the business, she asked if she could use some of her money to increase my.. Our.. marketing budget.

Terry Hershberger · Answer

Divorce your wife and get a dog, they don't talk back! JUST KIDDING of course. I believe most like security. I would try to who her how RE investing will provide more security for your future together. Also educate yourself about the business. If they can see that you truly know what you are doing and will make $$$$ doing it, most will get behind that effort. So, basically I think it boils down to Security & Financial Gain. As some of the others have said, if it solves a "WHY" for her, that will help also. Unfortunately most have only heard of the horror stories about the mistakes that someone else has made investing in RE and have not heard about all those that have made great investments, so maybe share some good stories from BP with her. Hope this helps you! PS: Happy wife=Happy Life! LOLHappy Investing!

Greg V. · Answer

I promised a Disney cruise (or other vacation of her choice) every year, starting 10 years from now. A tangible thing versus "financially independent" seemed to work for me.

Chris Vail · Answer

Be patient first and foremost, I have been talking to my wife for 7 months now and she is still not "excited" about REI but she is becoming more and more open and willing to talk about the subject. The worst thing you can do is try and push the issue. Some good advice has already been given up above, just be patient.

Pat L. · Answer

Mine was not completely convinced until a couple of deals paid off the mortgages on a couple of homes we owned. But they NEVER let you forget the bad deal(s) regardless of it eventually becoming very profitable several years later.Because of the perceived risks it remains one of the most challenging aspects of REI & a fiscally conservative wife is a great asset.Good luck

Steve Babiak · Answer

Good luck, because it sounds like you have to overcome her fear and probably negativity that either she believes or that others have told her to believe. I strongly believe having your significant other io board will make for more and better investing success. So you might find it tough to gain traction in investing with what you have to deal with in overcoming her objections.

Pete T. · Answer

I think this is a tough one that i have dealt with. I agree w/ the above about discussing the "why", but I would also look to highlight the part of the "why" that might excite her. It might help her to at least be on board if not excited. Taking care of the headaches also keeps the significant other on board.

Neal Bratton · Answer

Sometimes it can be nice when partners have different interests. You can share your investing ideas with her and she can share her interests with you. Otherwise you would only talk about real estate 24/7. It is nice when couples compliment each other. But before she does give the go ahead on any major purchase, she will have to feel comfortable with the risks. For that BP is great. Listen to a podcast on your next car ride together. Or grab a book on tape. (Rich Dad anyone?) Show her you understand what you're doing and the possibilities for your future.

Walt Payne · Answer

As many have said here before, it is all about the why. Find the motivator that will help her achieve other goals and convince her that REI is the vehicle to get there and she might become excited.

J. Martin · Answer

@Charles @Charles Manuel I would agree with some others that recommend 1) finding what motivates her, inspires her, or what meets her goals, and try to show her how this fits in2) maybe find an aspect of it that she is particularly interested in - could be looking at different home styles on MLS, redecorating, numbers, whatever..3) if she is too busy, try taking care of the baby for a while to free up her time to get some interest!4) get interested and ask questions about what she is doing. If you're showing an interest in her hobbies/interests, she will probably show more interest/effort in yours.Most importantly, don't let your relationship be dominated by real estate. Family first, then you can take the rest from there..Maybe Account Closed has some tips..? He managed to bring his wife and daughter out to one of our meetups, and she still had a smile on her face, so Minh must be doing something right..Happy wife, happy life!