Question on colleagues

[Rich Weese]

I have yet to figure something out on the colleague feature. I get requests to add someone as a colleague. I never turn anyone down. Many of the requests come with a question or comment that requires a reply from me. If I reply, the request to add them goes away. If I click to accept them, the ability to reply goes away!! I figure I've seemed like a snob to many of the 175 requests because I add them and then can't reply. Example- I received a request from Lori McMahon this morning with a proposal on some business. I accepted her, then hustled to my list of colleagues to try that and she wasn't there.
I'm not computer savvy, as many of you know. Is there some easy way to do both at the same time? Suggestions welcome. Rich in TX.