Refinance Halted From Paying Split Rent Out Of One Acct? Help

[Mark Anderson]

Ok interesting situation here i am on lender #3 and no one can seem to sort this one out. I have a quadplex bought back in 2017 for $550k & 5.5% mortgage rate. I have a appraisal for that property for $730k but can NOT refinance it because my debt to income is greater than 50%. I make $110k a year and live in SF with 2 roommates. i pay the rent out of my checking account for the entire apartment $6,000 a month. However my portion of the rent is only $1,850. Both of my roommates names are on the lease as well and i have bank statements showing those same names of my roommates that match the lease Zelle me in the same amount each month.

 All 3 lenders have said that since i pay the rent out of my account that they have to take the entire $6,000 as my expense. Lenders have tried factoring bonus, prorating the bonus for 2022, saying i live rent free but nothing seems to work here. It seems this is a clear rule that is outdated but no lenders seem to be able to get around it. Any advice on being able to close. I also have the appraisal and zip of all financial records to close on this refi if anyone can get past this? This is obviously frustrating being i have lost the lower rates trying to get through this over the past 90 days and dont seem to have a path forward on this without changing where i live. My lease ends next year....