Assault and Battery by Cat Pee.

[Charlie MacPherson]

I have a house I'm listing for sale and the seller is a friend of a friend.  His cat, however, is no friend of mine.

My client has gone nose-blind to the horrific smell.  When I say "smell", I mean "stench of ammonia and cat urine".  

By "stench", I mean that this is probably illegal under the Geneva Convention.  Even the cat's fleas have probably applied for asylum at the nearest embassy.

See where I'm going here?  It's bad.  Real bad.

So who knows the best way (aside of torching the house) to get rid of cat pee smell - which I fear right have penetrated the hardwood floors.

(Actually, I don't think torching the house will work.  The flames would probably run away from the stench too).