Finding a Mentor - How do I give them value?

Question

Hey All,

I'm starting out with investing (purchased my "live in" fixer in Jan) but the market is obviously hot right now and so I want to go off market with my next property. I feel like I need a mentor to help me through an off market deal or two to get my feet under me.

I'm part of a Facebook group, comment (sometimes) and DM people, and plan to go to in person meet ups when they restart to try to grow my network. All that good stuff. I have a goal of two additional properties this year and I'm not great at networking, so I'm worried I won't make enough progress to give me enough lead time to find a mentor, then close two deals in 2021. Yea, dates are arbitrary but I'm a goal oriented person.

I'm not cash constrained, I just don't know how to execute nor do I have a network in the city I'm in (Rochester, NY).

In order for mentor ship and/or an expert's time, I want to offer them value. Even if someone was willing to mentor me for free, I wouldn't feel right without returning the favor somehow. Anyways, because I'm a rookie in Real Estate, I don't know what is valuable to potential mentors.

My skill set is software development, masters degree and 10 years experience. I've built a ton of different stuff, and also worked as a "CTO" of a small, 10 person non-tech company... which isn't the same as a CTO of a tech company but probably closer to a "jack of all trades" of tech.

I know this skill set can help people, but I don't know how to frame this as value to a potential mentor, because I don't know what types of problems investors have that are software/technology related.

How can I present this skill set as something that a potential real estate mentor would need so that I can find a mutually beneficial relationship? What types of problems do investors have that I can solve with this skill set?

Marcus Auerbach · Answer

@Gregory Pitts - it speaks for your personality that you don't want to take something for nothing, but mentorship is like friendship - you can't buy it.

I have been an investor for more than a decade and sometimes host a meetup as a member of our local group or talk about a topic - and I am happy to answer questions and volunteer my time - but once in a while someone wants to buy me coffee in exchange for some what you have to label as nothing short of "serious consulting work", basically listening to their entire life story and then helping them develop a strategy to go from zero to hero. And if that does not work they offer me a steak dinner - as if that is something I should get excited about.

People have asked me what they could do for me and I honsetly struggle with the question, because everything I have figured out is taken care of by someone. The only things I need is what I have not figured out yet. So this is the part where I could use a mentor.

So, take Evan's approach, network and have a beer with people, make some friends and have fun while you are doing it! And maybe, if you are luckier than me, you will run into someone, who takes a liking on you and has walked the path you want to go and is happy to give you a few pointers here and there.

Tom Degroodt · Answer

@Gregory Pitts - Starting out with the REIA group will be a fantastic start.  I have seen the best mentorships start organically.  Like others have said, if it is based on friendship first they can be amazing.  You have already started with your fix-up, that will speak volumes to your commitment.  It may take a couple of meetings for people to realize you are serious and not a flash in the pan.  There are plenty of people, especially now when the market is hot, who want to come in and get rich in 6 months.  The RE game is great, but it is also hard work.   One of the best ways to connect is to find someone who is doing a rehab.  Ask if you can come over and see it.  Most want to show their projects off.  Figure out if there is anything you can help with.  Maybe you have a tool that could help them, maybe you could stop over and give an hour or two on a Saturday holding sheetrock while they screw it in.  Everyone in the buy and hold game has paid to have a place cleaned, but then has had to bust out and spend 30 minutes doing what the cleaner didn't.  After someone is done with a place you can ask to follow them  while they show the rental.  It is amazing the little stuff that needs done at the last minute.  blowing off the side walk.  turning on all the lights and making sure there are no critters or bugs that have snuck in before the showing.  The point is just try to be around them, because you want to.  Ask them who has helped them.  It is amazing how much you learn from just spending time holding sheetrock or helping in other ways.  Good Luck.

Gregory Pitts · Answer

Thank you all for your responses. @Evan Polaski your response absolutely resonated with me.I found two local real estate groups having regular meetings, one was the Facebook I previously mentioned and another is a more established REI investing community. I'll be making sure to attend and do work of building a network.

Evan Polaski · Answer

@Gregory Pitts, given what you said, you simply start with meetups and getting to know people.  When I read what you want, yes that is a mentor, but really want you want to make friends in the industry.  Buy a couple people a beer and they will happily let you pick their brain.  The value you provided was making them feel like an expert and a free beer.

You know who I help with real estate questions all the time: my friends.  I am not their mentor, and it is not a transactional relationship.  I have real estate friends that come over to my house for dinner, and we help each other with current issues.  My wife, a designer who charges for design work from clients, gives her friends floor plan, color, tile advice, if they ask.

Brad Jacobson · Answer

@Gregory Pitts don’t look for a specific single mentor but get so involved in all your local REIAs that you inevitably start to know everyone. Plenty of opportunities will appear for you to assist or hang out with the right people and you’ll get all the mentorship you can handle that way!

Dmitriy Fomichenko · Answer

@Gregory Pitts wishing you success in your journey!

De Rasche · Answer

Forrest is on spot.

Find someone who is here to serve, not to be served.  Mark 10:45

Forrest Faulconer · Answer

Completely understand, surround yourself by great, experienced people, don't be afraid to ask questions and to offer assistance when you feel so inclined or qualified. That is how I have experienced a natural mentor/mentee relationship.

Good luck!

Gregory Pitts · Answer

Thanks @Forrest Faulconer that's a great point, I'll definitely be exploring that type of option. I do think there's still value for the mentor there, in the form of their own personal fulfillment and the concept of "my greatness is seen through the agency of others".

Perhaps my post implied I was looking for a purely transactional type of relationship, which I actually want to avoid. In my experience, those devolve pretty quickly into both sides only incentivized to providing value equal to what they perceive they are receiving.

When I find a mentor willing to take me under their wing, I'm still interested in finding a way to contribute back. I think I can help people in return, I just don't know what they need. This problem led me to the thought of "just asking people", and so, Bigger Pockets forum to the rescue :D

Forrest Faulconer · Answer

Hi Gregory, I understand there are paid mentors out there or perhaps some that expect something in return. But do not forget there are also those out there who choose to mentor because they simply enjoy it. Either they were mentored themselves and just want to give back, or find sharing all that they know to someone eager to learn as life-giving. I know they are out there as I have had the fortune of being mentored myself in such a way.

Forrest Faulconer

Finding a Mentor - How do I give them value?

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