Standing out in a crowd - no, you can't buy me a cup of coffee

[Ann Bellamy]

A common question I get is "Can I buy you a cup of coffee and pick your brain?"  (Really, you value my time at the price of a cup of coffee?) or "Can I take you to lunch, I'd love to talk to you about blah blah".  (That's on the theory that I have to eat.  Trust me, I could skip a meal or two). 

Now this is going to sound harsh, but no, you can't.  It may be a common recommendation here on BP, but I don't subscribe to it.

• Don't misunderstand me:  I spend copious amounts of time talking to newbies about their deals, answering their questions and giving general recommendations, opinions (for what it's worth) and connections, either on the phone or at/before a local real estate event.
• I run a local real estate group called Black Diamond that does not allow selling speakers nor do we sell anything ourselves.  The foundation of that group started with a conversation I was having one day with @Joshua Dorkin before he became #400 in the Fastest Growing Business category.  (Congrats, Josh, awesome job!)  The purpose of the group is to provide information and networking opportunities.  Attendees have told me they have learned tons and done lots of deals with the connections they make at Black Diamond.  

So back to the coffee:  The way to stand out from the crowd of newbies is to make yourself useful to the person you want information from, not to ask them to stop their day to meet with you.  A couple of cases in point:

• @Jared Smith volunteered to help us at Black Diamond.  He hung out, did whatever we asked, and generally was useful in setup or registration desk tasks.  He made a couple of suggestions that made us sit up and notice, and has come up with some really good ideas and processes.  He's now working with one of my partners in his real estate business.
• @Tyler Libby also volunteered to help at Black Diamond, and was a life saver at our last event on Tuesday, we were short handed and he and his wife Amanda made all the difference.  

The point of this post was to thank Jared and Tyler publicly, since we are very appreciative, but I decided it would make a good post for people starting out.  Feel free to disagree with my position, I know it's not popular.