Murrieta, CA · Member since 2017 · 14 posts · 2 votes
I am a dreamer. I am a planner. I analyze to the point of analysis paralysis. That said, I tend to lean toward the "take chances while I am young enough to make up for my mistakes". My wife - in profile pic as well - aint she a gem? - is overly conservative (and bad at math). She is the type that believes you put your head down, work hard for the man (boo), and hope to retire at 65/70 by "saving". Now I have started to read, listen and watch everyone talk about the options to make money in real estate. My question is, how do I convince my wife that investing in RE is the best option for us long term? How do I get her to understand? Has anyone else had a similar situation? I feel our best option is either working with turnkey providers, buy and holds or partnering as we both have full time jobs we like pursuing for now. Whats everyones advice?
Austin, TX · Member since 2017 · 21 posts · 18 votes
9y
Travis, you remind me of my son, and that is a compliment. I will tell you what I would tell him. Celebrate the differences. Focus on building trust and positive synergy. Help your wife to see your strengths and respect them. If you have not given her any reason to doubt you; then she needs to give you some latitude by supporting your efforts. That being said, she needs reassurances that you will listen to her women's intuition, and that you understand that she has a stronger need for financial safety. Wise men listen to their wives intuitive intelligence. Build her tolerance to risk one small win at a time. Much of her resistance could be fear of the unknown.
Austin, TX · Member since 2017 · 21 posts · 18 votes
9y
Travis, you remind me of my son, and that is a compliment. I will tell you what I would tell him. Celebrate the differences. Focus on building trust and positive synergy. Help your wife to see your strengths and respect them. If you have not given her any reason to doubt you; then she needs to give you some latitude by supporting your efforts. That being said, she needs reassurances that you will listen to her women's intuition, and that you understand that she has a stronger need for financial safety. Wise men listen to their wives intuitive intelligence. Build her tolerance to risk one small win at a time. Much of her resistance could be fear of the unknown.
Rental Property Investor · Scottsdale, AZ · Member since 2017 · 115 posts · 136 votes
9y
@Travis Bodnar, your post has me smiling because I was in your shoes back in the day.... And now, my husband traded his W-2 job to run our real estate business. One idea -- have you read Rich Dad, Poor Dad? Perhaps share this book with her. The concepts discussed were an excellent starting place for us and changing the way we thought about things.
Another idea is to go to a couple of real estate investor club meetings together.
Finally, to understand how you got to where you are in deciding this is something you'd like to do....how did you get interested in real estate investing? What brought the idea to your attention?
Real Estate Agent · Southington, CT · Member since 2008 · 5k+ posts · 3k+ votes
9y
@Travis Bodnar I agree with what @Nichole Stohler said and have her read Rich Dad Poor Dad. If that book doesn't get her thinking differently about money nothing will.
If you can connect with a local investor, that might help - preferably, an educated investor. Have him/her walk through the numbers so both of you can see exactly how things happen, how investments are protected, where the profits come from and how the risks are mitigated.
All investments involve risk, and a lot of folks will choke on that.
Even W2 situations involve the risk of layoff and other job loss - your income is NEVER under your control, you are always at the mercy of someone else and their abilities.
You CAN take control of your own financial situation. You just need to reconcile yourself to what it takes to do that.
Rental Property Investor · Omaha, NE · Member since 2014 · 2k+ posts · 3k+ votes
9y
Travis Bodnar
I had it easier than you. I was an investor when I met my significant other, so she understands what I'm doing and doesn't think I'm taking too many risks.
I think the best way to help get her onboard is involve her in the process. Ask for her to be your true partner. Educate her on everything that you want to do.
Investor · Littleton, CO · Member since 2017 · 66 posts · 39 votes
9y
@Travis Bodnar , Yes education and patience is the key. Try not to spring deals on her. Warm her up slowly to the idea, get her invested and asking you for more details. This will calm her feelings of risk and get her a stake in the family decision matrix. It would also help greatly if you had a close friend or neighbor that has been investing in RE already.
Investor · Bryan, TX · Member since 2016 · 165 posts · 82 votes
9y
there is an old saying about orchards.... The best time to plant them is 15 years ago. Real estate is similar. It takes time to build wealth and each day that passes is one less you have. If you wait around too long then your opportunity will be lost. Getting your wife on board is your first big business deal. After that the rest is easy. I bought my first rental 10 years after I decided that I wanted to follow this path. That's a huge regret but 2 years in and things are going great. Soon as I finish typing this I'm jumping in my truck and hauling my boat to our vacation house on the coast.
I regret time lost but not the uphill battle I took on to get to this point.
Rental Property Investor · Torrance, CA · Member since 2016 · 724 posts · 1k+ votes
9y
Explain the power of exponential growth vs linear growth. And definitely have her read some classic personal finance books. My favorite is conspiracy of the rich by Kiyosaki. Luckily for me I had money coming in from my duplex when I met my fiancé. I think it made convincing her a little easier lol.
Investor · Sunnyside, Queens, NY · Member since 2015 · 213 posts · 159 votes
9y
Real estate is not the best path. It is A path to retiring early. Sameway there are other paths to retiring early such as securing a very high-paying job. Is up to you to both figure out what is the path to saving the most amount of money that you need to retire at the age that you want. Real estate is just one, albeit less-complex way to figure that out.
You will obviously get a lot a real estate biased responses here but in some cases it's just better to work your way up the food chain or open a small business to get where you want faster.
Investor · Mission, TX · Member since 2017 · 220 posts · 135 votes
9y
Travis Bodnar I found a different way to talk about it. Rather than, we have to take risk for it to payoff I showed her what it looked like for us to not have a mortgage by house hacking!
Investor · Avilla, IN · Member since 2013 · 796 posts · 769 votes
9y
Lots of good suggestions but if none of those work and you're convinced you'll be successful then you just have to do it anyway.
Make it "your" job...not hers. My wife more or less disliked my rentals until somewhere between them allowing me to quit my factory job and the point where my income from them surpassed her income.
She's not involved. I own and manage 64 rental units and as long as their is enough money in the checking account that her debit card works she's happy.
Not trying to make her sound bad. It's just not her thing and I've slowly discovered the key to keep her from complaining about them. Which is to make money. Period.
Rental Property Investor · Omaha, NE · Member since 2014 · 2k+ posts · 3k+ votes
9y
Amit Kal
I disagree. Real estate is the best path. Maybe not for you if your priorities are somewhere else, but yes for me and countless others on this site.
Investor · Sunnyside, Queens, NY · Member since 2015 · 213 posts · 159 votes
9y
@Anthony Gayden good for you sir. But mature investors (agnostic) tend look at all asset classes and carefully evaluate the opportunity cost, risk, and effort involved before investing. I stand by statement that RE should be one of several investment vehicles for building wealth.
Portage, IN · Member since 2017 · 10 posts · 0 votes
9y
@Travis Bodnar Just over a year ago, I thought the same way your wife thinks. My Fiance would have me watch Youtube videos of different investors talking about who they got started and what they are doing now. Unfortunately, for some reason, I never connected to the people in the video so I wasn't enthused about REI. Then one day, he made me watch one more video and I connected with this person. I finally realized, the reason why I wasn't interested was because my Fiance was showing me videos of male RE Investors, so my brain was telling me, these are men, I can't do it. But the last one he showed me was a female Investor. She had a really great job, lost job, found another job, hated that job and got into REI. My first thought was wow, she is just like me. If she can do it, maybe I can too. Plus reading Rich Dad, Poor Dad helped a lot. Changed my mindset completely This past Feb, I closed on a duplex I was renting, am in the process of evicting my tenant/neighbor due to non-payment of rent, will have to pay a few thousand to rehab her side but I don't regret it one bit.