How I Got my Significant Other on Board

Question

Hey everyone! For the last 2 plus years I have absorbed as much as I possibly could about real estate with podcasts,/books/etc. My girlfriend however, did not show any interest in it. It was all just numbers/loans/construction terms/ etc that went in one ear and out the other. Every podcast and book I recommended didn't work to get her somewhat excited or interested in it.

So, what I decided to do was plan a trip to my first real estate networking event. Instead of it just talking about real estate, there are social events/lunches/dinners outside of the actual speakers. When I showed her the itinerary of the trip, she actually showed excitement. From her point of view, this was as much of a chance to have fun, as to learn.

I had now found an avenue that worked for her. She is a very social person and having the opportunity to learn about it face to face with others through networking speaks to her rather than just the 2 of us over dinner or in the car listening to a podcast.

So if you really do want to get your significant other on board, maybe try the route of a networking event rather than shoving Rich Dad Poor Dad in their face. I tried that with my girlfriend and she gave up after 5 pages haha.

Michael Mackney · Answer

By on board, I meant more so a partner to help me along the process. Someone that can join me on this journey and learn with me. She trusted what I was doing even when she had no interest, but having her excited to learn as well now makes it so much better!

Marty Boardman · Answer

So cool this worked for you Michael! I'm curious what you mean by "on board"? Were you seeking her approval to invest money in real estate? Or were you looking for her to be your business partner/co-decision maker?

I've been married for 24 years (dating/engaged for 6 before that) so I've been with my wife for 30 years. I quit my 9-5 job after we'd been married for 5 years to go into real estate investing full-time. I tried everything to get her involved. We attended networking events, mastermind groups, I shared books with her...all of it. But she never had any interest in real estate. I wanted her to be my partner in the business but it just wasn't her thing.

This frustrated me at first, but I had a friend that told me to be grateful that my wife trusted me enough to quit my job, and make important business decisions without her involvement. Sure, it would be cool to be the cute (well she's cute, I'm not) rehab couple that goes around fixing up houses like you see on HGTV. This sounds like an ideal situation and it works for most couples.

The point is if you can get your significant other/spouse to be your partner then great! It's fun to collaborate and work with the ones you love. But don't get too upset if they don't want to run the business with you. All that matters is you have their support/trust.

Rick Albert · Answer

Well done! My wife didn't show much interest until I explained future potential, not looking at things today.

When I showed her that if we stop what we are doing now without buying anything else, we would net about $100K/year by the time we are of retiring age just off the rentals/house hack we have. I also had to explain that we have to invest in SOMETHING. The problem is we live in a world where it is easy not to save and invest because there is always something (inflation, other debts, etc.).

What I have been telling people lately who are millennials is that we are half way through our traditional working years. That seems to scare most people into doing something. We don't realize how much time flies by.

Michael Mackney · Answer

@Eliott Elias 100%. You have to find a happy medium at some point.

Michael Mackney · Answer

@Tim Willms that sounds tough. The last thing you want is to get a property but it causes a rift between you guys. In the end I believe a lot of us are doing real estate investing to improve our lives but if it is going to make our relationship sour, is it worth it.

Maybe start off with something small or network with someone that has a deal going to show you guys what it entails without much risk involved?

Michael Mackney · Answer

@Brian Walters even without the much wanted passion that we have, it sounds like your wife is still committed for the ride with you on this. She may not be as excited to see these properties as you are but its a fantastic start.

Eliott Elias · Answer

It's not easy. It can kill relationships, you have to decide what's more important and see if the compromise is worth it. Your passion for RE will never be matched.

Tim Willms · Answer

So I am completely new to all of this myself. I have been interested in investing in Real Estate forever. I have tried to play it very slow with her over the last few years. I have just recently really decided to take this a bit more serious. You know, no longer dreaming and thinking it would be nice.

My wife and I have been together since we were in High School, now married for 18years. Whenever I talk about buying another house she gets upset and mentions the old adage of "Fixing Toilets at 2 am" or tenants that will destroy the place and we will loose it all. I mention wanting to by a second home in 2023 and she about lost it. The next time I brought it up she was more receptive.

She does trust me as long as I don't have too much skin in the game and we can afford to loose. I have flipped Snowmobiles, ATVs, and vehicles many times. I have a vehicle in the garage right now. I have had to talk her into being ok with using funds to do this for years. I just need to show her in the end that profit. Start small and keep working the Deal.

I think she will come around.

Brian Walters · Answer

@Michael Mackney, I'm in a similar situation.  Spent the last several years learning as much as I can and last year we decided to start looking.

When I first started talking about it my wife had zero interest.  It's all numbers to her, numbers that don't make sense and she doesn't care to try and have them make sense.  I tried the read Rich Dad route, she finished it but I think the exact response was "meh".

She fully trusts me with making decisions around this, even with no experience, but I wanted her to be more involved so it felt like an "us" decision instead of just me making it.  She has come to look at properties with me, given her input there and listened as I say what my research has found.  I think that's about as far as I will get with her, at least until maybe we are further along and have several doors, and I've accepted that.

I can't make her passionate about something she isn't, and I wouldn't want her to be.  We trust each other and will be involved in some areas together, while I take the lead on others.  Hopefully it all works out in the end.  Good luck.

How I Got my Significant Other on Board

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